I turned 50 earlier this month – a huge milestone.
When we reach these milestones it gives opportunity to review our lives and really see what God has done and what he continues to strive to do in our lives. Reflection brings many emotions as well as growth, and I thought I would share some of what I’ve learned over the past 50 years about motherhood, marriage and just life in general.
GRACE, GRACE, GRACE and more GRACE
I am learning I am the one I need to give more and more grace to. I am certainly not perfect, but my expectations of myself certainly reach far beyond human capacity at times. My husband is very good at reminding me of this. I am not supermom, super wife, nor super friend and certainly make a ton of mistakes, but God’s grace covers it all.
Laughter is Healing
If you were in my daily life you’d discover I can be pretty darn serious. I am learning to lighten up and find more fun in my life. As a strong personality with huge goals, I can find it hard to relax and just have fun – but implementing a Sabbath is helping me keep balance in this area and have fun.
It’s Not About Me
This took me years to understand. Many things in life really have nothing to do with me, but we can often take things personally. Stepping back out of situations that arise and truly examining them has helped me in my marriage, motherhood and outside relationships.
Self-Care is Not a Bonus
In mothering especially, we give and give…. and if you are not filling yourself up, it will show in ugly ways. For me, my temper is short and I tend to not be very positive. Taking a run, getting a massage or coffee with a friend need to be scheduled by me! No one is responsible for my self-care except me.
God is my Priority Daily
Things just do not go as smoothly if I don’t give my first few minutes of my day to the Lord. Finding quiet to pray and get my head on straight for the day impacts myself and my family. I’ve went through seasons where I’ve missed my morning quite time and they have been very lonely.
Apologies are Powerful
I am stubborn and it has taken me a long time to realize that an apology is so powerful in taking ownership of our actions. I am still a work in progress in this area, but have come a long way.
A Smile Carrys Weight
When all else fails – smile. I have been told I have a great smile and it makes me smile even more. I know I can shift an awkward moment by smiling, touch a heart of a friend who is struggling with a smile and give kindness to a stranger too.
Authenticity Trumps All
We’ve all lived in seasons where we try to not let others in, to see the ugly, messy side of our lives. But it always – always backfires. I have found freedom in allowing others to see my messy side, the side that is not all that great and to know I am far from perfect. I know God can use my ick for Him.
Never say NEVER!
When you think you are in control of your life, you’d better think again. We said we’d never do a few things – one is we’d never have more kids, however – here we are with a seven year old. God did an amazing work in us to soften our hearts toward adoption. We know now that our lives are for HIS glory, not ours and we are open to what He has in store for us – regardless if we think we are prepared, equipped or ready.
Take Care of Your Body
At 50, I am in the best health of my life – hands down! After suffering from life-long depression and medicated for over 20 years and Lupus, an autoimmune disease, I have successfully found healing and restoration of my body. It took work, education and perseverance, but it was so worth it. I now help others find that same power and it is pretty amazing. I plan to live another 50 years and I imagine God will do amazing things with my life – all for HIS Glory!