Embrace Your Beautiful, Imperfect Husband

27
Feb
2014

Closeup image barefoot couple legs at the beach

I am hurrying to write this post, pack my bags, and get a schedule written down for my mother-in-law who so kindly came to stay with my little guy so my husband and I could go enjoy the trip I earned to Hawaii – don’t worry I will be sharing much more on my trip when I get back – it will be too great not too!!

This post and the timing of my trip is impeccable, as God always seems to place things, huh?  I am going to be spending 5 days with my husband and trying to focus on relaxation, conversation and connection, without writing blog posts or spending too much time on social media. Very hard!!  I am going to try to live out what we have been reading this week and I feel truly blessed to have this opportunity.

I don’t want to disappoint anyone, especially my wonderful ladies who come to my site each week to find encouragement, but this week my husband gets to win.  I likely will be away from social media and attending to comments until I return.

I found it again interesting to me, but no surprising that PRIDE comes into play. It did in week two as well, why is this such a big part of issues we may encounter?

“Pride is at the core of so much marital strife.  Pride believes our way is the right way – the only way.  Pride says you are more wrong than I am.  Pride says I’m you are more wrong than I am.”

I am horrible with regard to my pride getting in the way of my marriage relationship, and this was the wake up call I needed.  This is a constant struggle for me and I need to ask God to help me each day – seriously, adding this to my prayer for each morning.

I really was touched by how Jill explained her personal journey with her husband and how she asked God to help her know how to love her husband during his time of depression and distance.  It just became clear to me that I need to continually ask God to direct me and He will.  I can easily remember that I need to do this with regard to my children and parenting abilities, but I forget when it comes to my husband.

Replacing Pride with Humility

This is where I am weak….my pride can overtake my mind and my spirit and humility is no where to be found.

“Pride keeps conflict unresolved.  It keeps us from owning our own stuff.  Pride separates, hurts, and even destroys.”

I will be praying about adding more humility in my day, taking the time to evaluate myself more and owning my own part of the ‘stuff’ instead of thinking it is always “his” problem.

We’ve had a rough couple of weeks in our home, for a lot of different reasons.  I’ve had plenty of conflict to deal with  and am always looking to blame someone else it seems, and it usually ends up being my husband.  He’s a good guy, a GREAT guy….and I need to Thank God more for him.

I did do the motherhood gig alone for 8 years, I do know what it is like in that arena…..it is not easier, in fact it is a lot harder – and overwhelming.  I need to remember what I have and be grateful – working on my pride issue and what I bring to the scene, which I often create into a messier scene, anyone relate?

So as I get ready to jet off with my hubby for 5 days, I am remembering this:

“There are no perfect husbands – just imperfect men who make mistakes along the way and give you the opportunity to learn to love in ways you never knew you could.”

Apply

Write your husband a love letter.  Tell him what you love about him.  Affirm him.  Tell him what he does well.  Even if you are in a place in your marriage where you wouldn’t give it to him, write it out – you never know how doing this exercise can impact your heart and add humility.  I am doing it!

Begin reading Chapter Six – see you next week!

Free Kindle Today – Become a Confident Mom

10
Sep
2013


Today I wanted to share with you an excerpt from my book, “Become the Confident Mom You’ve Always Wanted to Be,”  which is available on amazon for FREE today!   I hope enjoy a glance at what you can dive into if you download – don’t worry if you do not have a kindle, you can download any kindle ebook on any device using the Kindle reading apps – just click here!

Enjoy…..

Confidence is all about how you feel about yourself. It does not matter what others may think or say but that you feel you are worthy and valuable. It is up to you to do it and make decisions without doubting or questioning your ability.

Today it seems that there are so many outside sources trying to convince us that we are not doing it right, doubting our ability to raise our families to be successful adults. It can be overwhelming and down right exhausting. [Read more…]

5 Minute Marriage Secret

8
Aug
2013

If I told you there was a nearly sure-fire way to create a fabulous marriage, would you believe me?

What if I told you it would take only 5 minutes a day and you could do it anywhere?

How about if I shared that the secret was life giving and would bless you immensely?

And now, how about it I told you it wouldn’t cost you a dime?

Would you want to hear what secret I had? It really isn’t a secret at all, but unfortunately most Christian couples aren’t engaging in and experiencing the benefit of this practice.

The secret – praying together in marriage.

Why

Praying together in marriage is one of the main ways to create a strong and secure marriage, with both each other and God in the center.  This is reflective of the nature of sharing our intimate thoughts with each other in prayer as well as verbalizing them to God.  It is like a lifeline that links all three together.

  • Praying together brings couples into agreement as you thank Him for your blessings as well as petition for things you desire or seek as a couple.
  • Praying together is vital to a lasting marriage. Being vulnerable in front of both God and your spouse creates a level of intimacy not reached in any other way.
  • Keeping God at the center of your marriage sustains the covenant between you.

Benefits

The list of benefits is probably endless. I would even go out on the edge and say there could not be a downside to praying together as a couple for your marriage – there are only positive benefits.

  • Deeper communication is one of the real benefits of sharing prayer together with your spouse.  By allowing the deeper feelings to come to the surface, you are revealing parts of you that will create a strong bond.  This is what leads to greater intimacy and a stronger marriage.  Good communication is critical to a successful marriage.
  • We also humble ourselves both before the Lord and in front of our spouse.  This is hard, especially when you first start praying together, but it allows us to be honest and open in a way that allows growth in our marriage.  It also provides an atmosphere for mutual respect to blossom.
  • When you can bring problems or concerns before the Lord together in prayer, you are allowing God to work in both of you, developing a deeper trust and providing accountability to each other.
  • Lifting your marriage in prayer on a continual basis will keep it in the forefront of your mind and reaffirm your desire to make your spouse your second priority.
  • Praying for your spouse and petitioning God for his needs helps keep you from being self-centered and only requesting for yourself.

Real Life

Now, let me just say I am not the one who has it all together and prays everyday in my marriage.  In fact, I am truly blessed because my husband takes responsibility as the leader of our home and initiates praying together. I rarely do, which is disappointing to me.

We go through different seasons and different needs – sometimes we pray once a day, sometimes once a week, often times on the phone or even via email.  You see, there are no real “rules” for praying together – you just need to find what works for you as a couple.

My husband travels out of town 3 ½ days per week, so praying via text, email, and on the phone is a must for us in order to make it happen.  We could just throw in the towel since we are not living a “traditional” marriage with a regular 9-5 job with my husband home each night, but instead we got creative.  I’ve often tucked notes into his suitcase with prayers for him, letting him know I will be praying for him.

When he is in town, we often pray for a few minutes before the kids get up in the morning.  Simple, not thought out – yet powerful together.

How can you fit prayer into your marriage?

What is holding you back?

Where is one place you can make a change today to make it different?

Getting Back on Track

1
Aug
2013


Hello, it’s me.  Remember, the mom who was worn out, exhausted, frustrated and allowed this blog to become an idol and time consumer for me.

The last time I posted was July 8th, when I shared with you about my frustration and embarrassment of not truly having my priorities in line.  This has happened to me before, unfortunately.  I knew it was time to take a break from blogging and spend some time allowing the Lord to help me re-define what the future was going to look like for me.  Both personally as well as with my ministry here at The Confident Mom.

Looking back in my journal, I see my prayer for July 8th:

Lord,  Help me to prioritize and know what I am to do.  Lead me, speak to me, give me the spirit to hear you.  Every area of my life is open to you; my issues regarding my ministry of both my family and my community.  Give me new resources and refinement in areas concerning how I use my time, how I speak to my family and how I help encourage others.  Please Lord, change my heart to fully understand the weight of what it means to be made in your image.   Thank you Jesus,  Amen

I spent more time seeking Him.  I kept more notes and what I wanted, what I heard and what I felt in my heart.  As I look back through my notes, I see things like: [Read more…]

4 Things I Learned from My Dad

16
Jun
2013


summer-gotoguide-450x90

Welcome to the 30 Days of Summer – Go-To Guide for Moms!

Day Sixteen

I am so excited to share with you a post written by my dear husband.  This just made sense to me, to allow my husband to share about his father, one who was so important to him and our entire family – especially in honor of Father’s Day. I think his message is a great father/son related one, but I also took away some great tid-bits that are true for us all.

I can’t believe that I’ve been given the chance to post to my lovely bride’s blog.  For years, I’ve asked to participate and share with her audience, and of course to call myself “The Confident Dad”.  Makes sense right?  Well, she’s finally relented for Father’s Day and I’ll try not to embarrass her. [Read more…]

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