Replacing My Pride with God’s Gentleness

29
Jul
2014

replace-pride-gods-gentleness

I have to admit, I will start this post by admitting, I like to be right.  I do not like to be wrong, and if I am wronged, I certainly like to make sure that no one can mistake that I was wronged.  

I deal with pride all the time.  It is ugly, I am not proud that I have to admit it, but at least I am aware and will admit. It is when we deny that things can turn really ugly.

“It’s more important for you to be in right relationship with others than to try to always be right.  Admit when you are wrong.” 

I would say I lived a lot of my life in arguments, holding grudges and wanting to prove myself to others and make them admit I was right.  I wasted a lot of time and certainly increased my anxiety and emotional exhaustion.  It just doesn’t work to always be looking to make others “see”.

I am so glad that God has been able to weave into my heart a new way of thinking. I am certainly not perfect and struggle, I will be the first to admit it.  But as I’ve aged and learned a lot of hard lessons about my actions and how I could have responded differently to different situations, I have grown.

I also admit I am not ‘clothed in gentleness’ really either.  That would certainly not be one of the first words someone would think of when they meet me.  I tend to be a bit more harsh on most things….I am a black and white person.   I have to be very intentional to offer grace in many situations where other people may automatically just give it.  (Boy, I am revealing a lot here on this page, ouch!).  But you know, I have grown and I am better than I was even a few years ago.

I can see this is both my marriage but even more so with my kids, especially my older kids.  I can see over the past 5-6 years that I have been able to be calm and collected when they come to me with an issue or problem.  I can remember when my 16 year old daughter came and had to tell me she got a speeding ticket, she was terrified.  She thought I would rant on to her about her mistake…..but I didn’t.  I just asked her what we were going to do about it, and we moved on from there. 

Being calm and gentle go hand in hand.

I can agree with this statement Sue makes, and I hope you can too, if not….I suggest you pray on how you can get to this place to be ‘safe’ for your kids.

“Hopefully, you have this place of trust and safety with all of your children.  They know that if they open up to you, you will not judge them or condemn them.”

That is success as a parent in my book.  I want my kids to know I won’t FREAK out and try to make MY point, when all they really need is a loving and accepting mom.  Full of compassion and grace.

Where do you struggle with pride?  What relationships do you find suffer because of that struggle?

9 Traits of a Life-Giving Mom – Week Nine

28
Jul
2014

Main-border-study

We begin week NINE of our journey reading Sue Detweiler’s book, 9 Traits of a Life Giving Mom: Replacing My Worst with God’s Best.  

I have loved reading through this book and examining the areas of my life that I can really use some BIG Holy Spirit intervention.  This week is no exception.  I admit, pride is something I deal with all the time.  I have shared about my pride issue here, here and yes ….here.  I find it interesting that it is a chapter in nearly EVERY single book we’ve studied here.  So, I guess I am not the only one who struggles.

Week Nine

Read  Chapter Nine – Replacing My Pride with God’s Gentleness

Trait 1:  Gentleness

I identified with this quote at the very beginning of the chapter:

“Pride hates to be inconvenienced.”

Yep, that is how I feel.  I have to be very careful and often it still gets the best of me.  I will share more tomorrow on how I don’t have it all together and certainly do not want anyone else to think that.

We are nearing the end of the study and things have gotten pretty quiet here on the blog. I hope you are still reading and even if you are not caught up on the chapters, I pray you will find the time to hop over and share in the Facebook group.  

Gentleness

 

(you will need to click through to the main blog to view the videos)

Chapter Nine Video

 

I will be back tomorrow with my thoughts as I read Chapter Nine and I’ll see you on the Facebook page!

God’s Perfect Strength

27
Mar
2014

God's Strength

We are wrapping up this study, No More Perfect Moms, Chapter 10.

I found it very interesting to read this section and hear a perspective that we often do not.

…..God sees weakness as a positive opportunity.  He celebrates!  Throws a party!  He gives us a pat on the back when we admit our weaknesses!  Why?  Because it’s only when we admit our weaknesses that we realize our need for God’s strength.

This set me back a few, to be quiet honest.  I forget….I struggle with trying to do it all on my own and I certainly would never want to admit I am weak.  In fact, I was just having a discussion about how this makes me feel with my husband…it is like the worst feeling every.  I feel like a failure if I am weak, but I can now see…..this is where God needs me to be.  

Weak.

To admit I cannot do it all.

It is about Pride for me, I am ashamed to admit that.

That word has spoken in BIG FAT LETTERS as I read through this book, Pride.  Each chapter held a bit of ugly about me in that word, and I need to allow God to break me down and then, rebuild me back up.

I read this blog post from another mom who shares her life online, and I was so thankful for her heart, her story, her feelings of being in a place that is lonely and disheartening.  But, it spoke to my heart as well.

I share in her desire to let more of God in, taking the time to allow less control and more of Him.

“When I allow God’s strength to overcome my weakness, there’s a little more of God in me and a little less of me.”

We arrive at pivotal points in our life, where we make choices, they can be positive or negative.  I feel that I am at one of those….a corner where I need to make a better decision than perhaps I have in the past.

Do you ask God for help?

This really resonated with me, and I feel that I need to begin asking more than I do, which is not very often.

“When, in our weakness, we ask for God’s strength, we really see that God goes to work.  God will never force Himself on us.  He’ll patiently wait until we ask for His help.”

 It is my pride that gets in the way ….again.  I feel like I should be able do it, or handle it, or complete it.

I was encouraged with the last section of the chapter, talking about God’s perfect hope.  That is where we come to, a hope in Him and what He offers.  But yes, it is up to us to meet with Him and ask.

I know that He has great things planned for me, even here as I turn ….ugh…47 next week.  Boy that seems really old!! But I know His plan is not old and that He wants to us me in ways that I have no idea.  I need relinquish control, come to Him and ask and be ready and willing to step out of my comfort zone and lose the Pride.

Such a constant battle for me….. but I am committed to change…. I want to change.  I do not want to remain the same, even though that is the easy way.

What spoke to you in this chapter?

What can you work on now to effect change in your life?

Can you commit to being the best mom you can without having all those unrealistic expectations?

I loved how Jill ended the chapter……..  “just imperfect moms partnering with a perfect God.”   Just perfect!

Come back tomorrow for a quick closing and a blooper video that will be fun to watch.  I will also be sharing a bit of a surprise I’ve kept from the Hearts at Home Conference!

Chapter TWO – The Antidote

4
Feb
2014

Take-Off-Judgement-Grace

In Chapter two we are talking about pride as well as confidence.  I thought this chapter was extremely critical to self-examine ourselves, but even more so, since this website and my business is “The Confident Mom.”  

“Pride, fear, insecurity, and judging perpetuate the Perfection Infection that taints our hearts and plagues our society”

Let me just clarify something first, I do consider myself a Confident Mom – but this online space is NOT where I sit and toot my own horn – as you’ve already seen I have many areas I struggle with.  If you haven’t read about it yet, just look a bit further.  

I’ve written about my struggles, my weaknesses and more – being as authentic as I can without completely embarrassing myself or others in my life {although I have embarrassed myself on several occasions!}

This venue is more a place where I can hopefully encourage you – to be a confident mom.  One who thinks clearly, knows why she chooses the choices that she does and stand firm in convictions.

In the first part of the reading you can easily begin to feel that being confident can be in fact a sin as it can easily be intertwined with pride.  The key word to keep in mind is   HUMILITY.  This is one OUCH word for me, to be quite honest. I have been known a time or two of thinking, “I can do it myself.”  Yep, also known as being a stubborn and tenacious German!

I loved this quote from Jill, it really spoke to my heart:

“Pride demands a voice.  Self-confidence is quiet, undemanding, and unassuming.  Pride believes you are better.  Self-confidence believes you are capable.  Pride is about taking.  Self-confidence is about offering.”

Jill goes onto to explain the difference between pride and self-confidence – I could relate to the examples she shared, could you?

Humility – this is a word I will pray about this week for myself.

Take off insecurity and put on confidence.

This is the exact phrase for my heart for this online venue known as “The Confident Mom.”  It is true, and certainly what I have found when I have worked with so many moms from all over the world – we all struggle with feeling competent for the job – we feel we don’t have what it takes or not enough information.  We mess up and cannot give ourselves grace.  It is those “inside our head” voices that end up being broadcast over our own loudspeaker.

Can you change that?

I am reading and studying, “Unglued” by Lisa TerKeurst right now in my bible study group.  One thing she states, which I am going to steal for this study too (and for life really!!) is: 

“Our goal isn’t to be perfect; that’s not realistic.  Our goal is to make progress – imperfect progress.”  

Doesn’t that sound good?  It is about making small changes and moving forward, little itty bitty baby steps at a time…but never the less, moving forward!

I leave you with my favorite quote of this chapter ladies, may it resonate in your heart and may you begin to feel freedom in who God created you to be – just YOU!

Tweet:     “Insecurity is bondage to who we’re not. Confidence is freedom in who we are! 

Did you download the discussion questions for this weeks chapter?  You can do that HERE.  Grab a notebook to place them in or jot them down in a journal.

Feel free to answer this question here on the blog:

Is it harder for you to be honest with yourself or honest with others?  Why?

I will be praying for each of these comments posted.

Have Some P.R.I.D.E. In Your Life – Elizabeth White, MA, LMHC

24
Jan
2011

The role of mother calls for much sacrifice and care.  When you spend your day kissing boo-boos and slicing peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, it can be easy to forget all about the person you were before you became a mom.

The woman in your rear view mirror deserves a ride in the front seat sometimes.

Remember her?

She loved cuddling up with a good book or catching a movie.  Her laugh could light up a room, and she loved the company of good friends.  If you find yourself getting lost in the shuffle, don’t start 2011 in that same cycle.   Put yourself on your own “to-do” list this year. [Read more…]

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