I have to admit, I will start this post by admitting, I like to be right. I do not like to be wrong, and if I am wronged, I certainly like to make sure that no one can mistake that I was wronged.
I deal with pride all the time. It is ugly, I am not proud that I have to admit it, but at least I am aware and will admit. It is when we deny that things can turn really ugly.
“It’s more important for you to be in right relationship with others than to try to always be right. Admit when you are wrong.”
I would say I lived a lot of my life in arguments, holding grudges and wanting to prove myself to others and make them admit I was right. I wasted a lot of time and certainly increased my anxiety and emotional exhaustion. It just doesn’t work to always be looking to make others “see”.
I am so glad that God has been able to weave into my heart a new way of thinking. I am certainly not perfect and struggle, I will be the first to admit it. But as I’ve aged and learned a lot of hard lessons about my actions and how I could have responded differently to different situations, I have grown.
I also admit I am not ‘clothed in gentleness’ really either. That would certainly not be one of the first words someone would think of when they meet me. I tend to be a bit more harsh on most things….I am a black and white person. I have to be very intentional to offer grace in many situations where other people may automatically just give it. (Boy, I am revealing a lot here on this page, ouch!). But you know, I have grown and I am better than I was even a few years ago.
I can see this is both my marriage but even more so with my kids, especially my older kids. I can see over the past 5-6 years that I have been able to be calm and collected when they come to me with an issue or problem. I can remember when my 16 year old daughter came and had to tell me she got a speeding ticket, she was terrified. She thought I would rant on to her about her mistake…..but I didn’t. I just asked her what we were going to do about it, and we moved on from there.
Being calm and gentle go hand in hand.
I can agree with this statement Sue makes, and I hope you can too, if not….I suggest you pray on how you can get to this place to be ‘safe’ for your kids.
“Hopefully, you have this place of trust and safety with all of your children. They know that if they open up to you, you will not judge them or condemn them.”
That is success as a parent in my book. I want my kids to know I won’t FREAK out and try to make MY point, when all they really need is a loving and accepting mom. Full of compassion and grace.
Where do you struggle with pride? What relationships do you find suffer because of that struggle?