5 Lessons I Learned From Having a House Husband

24
Apr
2014

5-Lessons-Learned-House-Husband

Yes, it’s true….The Confident Mom has had a house husband helping run the show in her home!  Before you make any judgements, let me share with you, why it happened, how it went and what I learned through the process.  It might just surprise you.

For the past 25 days our family has tried an experiment of sorts.  My husband has a job where he travels out of town 3 1/2 days per week.  But for the month of April, he took extended vacation and was home – a lot!

Since my business needed some extra attention, we decided that we would switch our responsibilities a bit to relieve me of my normal household duties so I could focus on blogging, my 2014 summer calendar release {soon,  I promise – did you read about my computer mishap??} coaching and my mentoring of Young Living leaders.

It was decided he would do all the laundry, general household routines, cooking and meal planning, and childcare between 9 am – 6 pm.  It was a big change.

So what have I learned from this experiment?  How things went, what I actually got accomplished and how I changed was not exactly what I was expecting.

1.  My Husband is Unique and Has His Ways {which are not always my ways}

I love my husband to death and he is honestly very capable at running a home, he was a single dad for 4 years before we married.  He is always willing to help around the house with my daily tasks, but I rarely take him up on it, except for grocery shopping.  I do let him do that as it is a real bonus for me.

But I will say, it was a real eye opener for me to let go of all the areas that I normally controlled and managed – from cleaning up, laundry, cooking and keeping the kiddos in line.  His ways are different – not wrong, just different.  It was a huge exercise in letting some things go, which for one who deals with anxiety, let’s just say I was reaching for my Valor a lot during the month to keep my calm!

2.  Laundry is not necessarily an Act of Love to Him

Out of all the tasks he lovingly took over for me, this would likely rate at the top of the list as one I had the most trouble with.  I tackle laundry a little bit each day – always – ALWAYS – completing a load from start to finish, folding it neatly in the basket and feeling success.  Not my husband.

I would find underwear left inside out, t-shirts (if we were lucky hung up, but often inside out) clothes left in the dryer getting wrinkled for at least a day, clothes just tossed into the clean basket, not folded.  I almost died.

Yes, did anyone get harmed by this change – no.  Was it hard for me to see this play out differently than what I did, oh yes!

3.  Kitchen Tidiness is Irrelevant

I keep a very tidy kitchen when I cook.  If I take ingredients out, I usually put them back away as I am making the recipe, or at the very least as soon as I am done with the cooking part.  Not my hubby.

It became apparent that I just needed to vacate the kitchen/family room area when cooking commenced.  Whether breakfast, lunch or dinner – it looked like a bomb went off.  I had to steer clear and often times just close my eyes.  Appreciating that he was capable and willing to do this task was more important than me trying to change how he does it.

4.  Losing Control means Growing

This was really a growing process for me, I had to lose this incredible urge to control all the aspects I normally could have, if it were me being the family manager.  Giving up control is a process and one I will always be in, but these types of opportunities allow me to stretch and grow outside my comfort zone, which just makes things easier each time I am forced to relinquish control.

5.  I Truly Do Miss My God-Given Role 

We began slowly transitioning back to our “regular” routine this week.  I am still working on balance with my role as mom, family manager, wife and business owner – but the reality is it will never just be fixed.  It is always a process of providing balance and checking priorities.

The honest truth is, I miss my regular routine of managing my home and being the care giver.  As much as I belly-ached about those things like – meal planning, laundry, cleaning and managing tasks – I missed it.  I really did.

So welcome me back to the role I was created for – the one who keeps my family in clean clothes, good food around the table and some type of organized routine.

{PS – my husband did say on about day two of this experiment that he had no idea how incredibly time consuming meal planning was and how frustrating it was.  By the time lunch was done and cleaned up he was having to figure out dinner! He did enjoy it a bit  more when I shared with him my secret weapon, Emeals!}

Did you see in my newsletter yesterday that I am having a sale on my “Got Dinner Recipe ebook“.  Yep, my computer disaster is resulting in a great sale for you all!  Only til Friday 4/25 at midnight!

 ebook-computer-sale

5 Favorite Books for Motherhood

3
Apr
2014

 Five-Favorite-Books-Motherhood

I love learning from others and one easy way is by reading what experts have to say on a subject.  As busy moms, reading is fairly simple. You can grab a book and pick it up at anytime and get little nuggets to fill your soul, give you encouragement and help you in your journey as a mom.

Today I thought I would share with you 5 of my favorite books on motherhood.  Some I have shared before, but I love lists and thought you might like having them all in one place too!

No More Perfect Moms by Jill SavageNo-More-Perfect-Moms

This should be no surprise!!  We just finished the book study, if you missed out and want to read this book and get some input from me, no worries.  All the posts are linked to in this post, so you can easily follow along.  

I love doing a book study in this online format on my blog for a few reasons.  I think learning together sheds light on areas that we may not even be aware of and input from others can certainly help us grow.

The Facebook page we’ve had for the past two book studies has been a great addition to conversation.  Have you enjoyed the personal connection with other moms?  For this particular study I think many found that they were NOT alone.  We all have weaknesses and struggles, and when you learn others have the same, it can make you feel, “okay” with yourself. 

I loved that about Jill’s book, we are not perfect, are not meant to be perfect and need to embrace that.  If you are looking for some self-acceptance, finding grace with yourself and experiencing motherhood on a more ‘real’ basis, this book is a must read!

10-Habits-Happy-MothersThe 10 Habits of Happy Mothers: Reclaiming Our Passion, Purpose, and Sanity by Meg Meeker, M.D.

I read this book several years ago and little pieces have molded me to become who I am today.  I love the approach and simple steps outlined.  I am thinking this very well could be our next online study.  It can be easy to wrap ourselves into motherhood in a way that we lose ourselves, and I know that is not God’s desire.

Motherhood is one large portion of who we are and the path we journey, but there are many portion to what makes us His.  This book brings up gentle reminders about friendships, doing less and really reviving our souls in a way that is restorative and full of redemption.

I especially loved that this book was available as an MP3, so I could listen while running.  It was a real treat!

52 Things Kids Need From a Mom by Angela Thomas52-Things

Another goodie – seriously!!  52 short chapters bring a lot of little things to light – which make it totally do able and does not make you overwhelmed.  I hate those books that give big lists and then lay a guilt trip to get you to change.  I especially loved that Angela was a single mom for many years and has a blended family now, very similar to mine. I could identify with her and she was real.

I was able to hear her speak when I went to the Hearts at Home Conference last month too, which was an incredible treat!  The chapters here are short enough to go through one a day – so pick a time to devote to yourself and growth and make it happen.  Keep a journal handy as I know you will want to jot down some notes.  I picked it up on kindle so I can easily read through it when I am on the go!

ReplenishReplenish by Lisa Grace Byrne

This book felt like a great big {HUG} for me!!  I love the way Lisa writes and how she gives practical ways to care for yourself as you move through the seasons of motherhood.  She reveals a lot of personal struggles, which I could certainly identify with.

I have known Lisa for several years, and have participated in many of her coaching programs for mothers.  She is a wealth of info on caring for your body and focusing on your health.  If we do not take care of ourselves, no one else will.  We are better equipped to handle situations when we are in good health and full of energy.  I would say she was one who inspired me to think more about how I was caring for my body and what I could do to make positive changes.  She also has some awesome free resources for moms.

I shared about her book more here when she released it last year – it was a pleasure to read and I look forward to more from her.

Hope for the Weary Mom – by Stacey Thacker and Brooke McGlothlin

Love, Love, Love this book!!  I have read and re-read it several times and always get something out of it. I have it on my currently list of favorite devotionals for busy moms.  You will relate to each page – unless of course you have a perfect life, with well-behaved kids who never irritate you!!  The stories and scripture give relief and hope in the midst of those crazy days as a mom.

I am always in need of a boost and the best way to get it is by song and word, in my opinion – oh and an outing with a good friend, but we can’t always make that happen.

When I read these books or even pick them up to grab a few bits and pieces from during the middle of a busy day, it is like I am meeting with a friend.  I love that I can relate and that all these authors offer a part of themselves in the writing that reaches mothers.

What book would you add to this list?

Don’t forget you can get a copy of my book through tomorrow at midnight for only $.99!!  Celebrate my birthday with me!

Kindle-book-sale

A Happy Birthday Post from My Husband

31
Mar
2014

Happy-Birthday-Susan

This post is coming a bit early – my birthday is really not until Wednesday, April 2nd – but I have a special post for tomorrow, a DIY Morning Citrus BLAST Body Wash – as I am part of the DeTox Your Home Blog Series that started today and I do not post on Wednesday – so a little birthday fun to start the week!!  

Ahem….I will be 47….yep, that is right…..47.……I can’t believe I am saying that number!

Happy Birthday to Susan, “The Confident Mom”

My name is Don and I am blessed to be Susan’s other-half.  I asked Susan if I could write a blog post for her birthday as a gift to her.  This might seem “sweet”, but the real reason behind this little plan of mine is that I couldn’t stand getting my wife another household appliance for her birthday. 

Seriously, I’m not some inconsiderate jerk of a husband!  It’s just that Susan is so practical and loves things that make her life easier around the home, like Vacuum Cleaners and Carpet Shampooers, past birthday gifts.  And yes….she really did want a pedestal for her front loader washing machine for our anniversary one year!  

Really ladies, she insisted and I made her put it in writing.  {Pst….Susan here, he did take me to a great concert on Saturday night and I consider that my gift  – one of my favorite new listens on Pandora, Keola Beamer.}

For this post, I thought I’d write something about the Confident Mom that you might not have known.  You see, Susan really is as genuine and transparent in real life as she is in her blogs and on social media.  So 6 years ago when Susan decided to start this ministry to support and coach moms, the name “The Confident Mom” seemed perfect as that was a great goal for all in her community to work toward.

What you may not have known though, is that Susan actually went through quite a few different business names and that is what I’d like to share.  During the process of coming up with a business name, Susan considered (drum roll and tongue-in-cheek):

  1. “The Crunchy Mom” – You may know that Susan is Gluten Free and she leans heavily toward a Paleo lifestyle, but I’ve never seen someone enjoy crunchy, salty snacks (e.g. Chips, Cheetos, Doritos) as much as she does.  No kidding, we order Potato Chips by the case from Amazon and I have no idea how she stays in such good shape.  I guess the lesson here is that diets and nutritional lifestyle changes are great, but give yourself a little Grace sometimes to enjoy some fun things as well.
  2. “The Soulful Mom” – Susan feels things incredibly deep in her soul and is very in touch with her feelings, as well as those around her.  We recently had one of our dogs leave us, and the depth of emotional grief that she has been feeling is intense.  Unfortunately, it was also hard for her to give herself permission to grieve that kind of loss.  With 4 kids, a traveling husband, and a successful business to run, it was hard for her to just hurt and grieve that loss.  Sometimes, you need to put the everyday hustle and bustle aside, give yourself some Grace, and allow yourself to hurt and heal.
  3. “The Tenacious Mom” – Sometimes I think of my wife as a beautiful, redheaded bulldog.  Once she sinks her teeth into something, it’s kind of hard to shake her loose until the situation is resolved.  A great trait, but sometimes you just can’t fix something.  Like….. a teenager coming home with a broken heart and Susan wants to call the other parents and give them a piece of her mind.  Tenacity is great, but sometimes you need to give a situation some time, and yourself some Grace, to see what God will have us do.

On New Year’s Eve, both Susan and I picked a “word for the year” to represent where we’d like to go.  Obviously from above, my word for 2014 was “GRACE”.  As you go about being parents, spouses and possibly a job outside the home, don’t forget to give yourself some Grace on a daily basis, because I am certain that our Lord and Savior has done the same for us.

Happy Birthday to my wonderfully complex, Psalm 139:14 bride and enjoy your day off with no blogging to do.

Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
    Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.  Psalm 139:14 NLT

No More Perfect Moms – Week Nine

24
Mar
2014

Main-No-More-Perfect-Moms

It is the final week – I don’t know if I should be happy or sad???  I love these book studies and truly feel that it is the calling of this space on the web, to provide support in this way for moms all over the world to connect, grow and share.  Ah, my heart is so full!

This last week we are talking about God, our relationship with Him and the qualities He possesses.  I love hearing peoples stories, their journey through life, the good, bad and ugly – it is what makes us all who we are.  I also love sharing God’s powerful redemption even in the midst of seemingly hopeless situations.

Here is the agenda for this week:

{If you are viewing this post via email, you will need to click through to the website to view the video}

 

Week 9:  March 24 – 28 , 2014

Monday – watch the video, download the discussion questions for WEEK NINE

Tuesday – come prepared by having read Chapter TEN, join the conversation

Wednesday – check in over at Facebook for a few questions 

Thursday –  we will be wrapping things up and putting application to what we’ve learned

What struck you while you watched the video?

Please share in the comments and hop over to the Facebook page.  

Did you enter the giveaway for some NingXia Red I shared last Friday – I would so love for you to win!!  Also, if you have more questions about how essential oils could help you, why not join us tomorrow evening for a LIVE Facebook Party – come in your jammies – I likely will be!!  {SSSHHHH, don’t tell!!}   There will be more prizes to win too!

FB-party-LIVE

No More Perfect Moms Week One

27
Jan
2014

Main-No-More-Perfect-Moms

It’s finally here, the first day of our new study!!  If you have not invited some friends to join us yet, please do.  There is room for everyone, another great feature of an online book study – no need to provide a huge room and I don’t have to make snacks for you all – {but I would if I could!}

Today is a pretty easy start, Monday’s will always be pretty low key.  I will give you the weeks reading assignment and you get to watch a fun video – who wouldn’t love that?  

I ask that each day as you begin reading or reading the blog post that you would humbly come before The Lord and ask Him to help open your eyes to areas that may be hidden to you, to reveal struggles and hidden issues you may have that could hinder your growth during this study.  I know He will meet you during this intentional time and will push you forward and challenge you!

When we are no longer able to change a situation – we are challenged to change ourselves.    – Viktor E. Frankl

So grab a cup of coffee and take it in ladies.

 
 

Week 1:  January 27 – 31, 2014

Monday – watch the video, download the discussion questions for WEEK ONE

Tuesday – come prepared by having read Chapter One, join the conversation

Wednesday – check in over at Facebook for a few questions

Thursday – read the blog post on applying what we’ve learned this week; get started reading Chapter 2

Was there something that spoke to you in the video?  Please share in the comments and hop over to say hello and introduce yourself either here or on the Facebook page.

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