Overcoming My Negativity with Kindness



This particular chapter really spread to a topic that is ever dear to my heart and often misunderstood.  Adoption.  I found it quite interesting that Sue chose this chapter to share about her experience with adoption, and especially an adoption that was not ‘easy.’

For those who may not know part of my story, I had never thought in my ENTIRE LIFE about adoption, up until about 6 years ago.  Then my life changed, as God revealed His heart to have me be a vessel to care for one of His children.  I had never once wanted to adopt, thought of adoption and did not truly believe that my heart could love another child that I didn’t give birth to.

Now that may sound a bit harsh, but it was a fear I had – even after God put the thought of adoption on my heart, that I would be able to care for physical needs, but to truly love another child that someone else gave birth to was a real fear.

“As mothers, we have the unique privilege of partnering with God to give life to our children.”

I will say God works when we need Him too for sure – as he worked in my heart and overcame my fear for me.  🙂  

Back to the negativity that creeps in….the tones that sneak around the corner and come from nowhere.  I relate – too easily.  What hit me when I read this chapter is this quote:

“As a mom I have been too results-oreinted and not enough process-oriented.”

I tend to not give as much attention to the process or maybe how I get them there.  This is a weak area for me.  I want kids that can do what they need to do, but I can often forget that their feelings and who I teach them to manage tasks and teach abilities are also equally important.

I think this was brought home to me even more when this little child was brought into our home at the age of 12 months and I realized that I didn’t have the history to know what his little heart had been through before I met him.  I have to consciously stop and think what he has seen or experienced that I am unaware of.

I need to remember that I am here to love first and teach second, a different approach then I perhaps had with my previous children.  Thankfully I am older and I hope just a bit wiser to know that I can be more aware of these needs of his – which is precisely why God waited so long to put the thought of adoption on my heart.

I needed to mature in His ways.

And I still am maturing and will continue till I leave this earth.  I have many negative parenting traps that I have to constantly ‘nip’ so that I can re-direct my path.  I apologize and reframe my requests.  I am a work in process.

I need to consistently show kindness to my kids – well to everyone – but especially my kids and I know I can’t do this in my own strength – hardly!  My mind can play tricks, repeat bad verbiage in my head and create bad patterns.  I need HIM everyday to help guide me.

My biggest takeaway for this week:

“How much are you affirming your kids’ value?  It’s probably easy to affirm and rejoice in your children when they are making positive choices.  It is easy to let the light in your eyes delight over them when there is a positive connection between you, but what about when your relationship is strained?”

oh, okay and one more goodie!!

“God’s kindness will lead you into adventures of faith.  The good news is that He equips those He calls.  There is more than enough grace to receive God’s promise.  Embrace God’s path for your family.”

Don’t forget to use the amazon link below when you purchase on amazon to share the LOVE with three girls in India – each time you purchase you are making a donation to their sponsorship through Compassion!!

This post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure policy here.

Help Susan Help These Children!