Tips for Nurturing Your Marriage


Closeup image barefoot couple legs at the beach

As I sit down to write this article on the importance of nurturing your marriage, I realize that it is likely more for me than perhaps you.  

I feel very convicted that I have not been making my marriage a higher priority.  It is like I know the why behind the importance, but the actual actions take time and energy, which as busy moms, are often lacking in our days.   With the scare my husband had with his appendix on Monday and the rush to surgery, I was really struck with how life can change in a matter of seconds.

The reality is, finding time to honor our husbands and share intimacy is extremely important in keeping our marriage a priority.   We can easily start to feel like roommates living under one roof with one goal in mind if we do not take the time to make our spouse feel special.

I am reminded of a very key point made by author Devi Titus in her book,  “The Home Experience” when she talks about honoring your husband:

Wives often mistakenly give to their husbands what they need rather than what he needs.  The Four B’s that husbands need:

Backed  (support, uplift, and encourage)

Bedded  (offer affection and sexual intimacy)

Boarded  (provide meals and a comfortable home)

Babied  (care for him when he is sick or feeling down)”

For those husbands who might be reading, she goes on to say what wives need:

“Loved  (both in words and actions)

Lead  (through kind direction and example)

Lifted Up  (encouraged, romanced, made to feel special)

Listened to  (without trying to solve all her problems)

Don’t you agree?

For me, as a wife, is seems rather simple.  If I can cover each of these areas in a day, then I would say that is a step in the right direction.   So what could that look like, without becoming overwhelmed with adding another “item” on my to-do list, let’s come up with some simple ways to incorporate fresh perspective our on spouses and creating that special connection that comes from dating.


Pray for your husband, ask him what you can pray for him in particular that day.  Find a minute to give him encouragement and praise for an area that you especially appreciate about him.  If he is having a rough day, take the time to encourage him with your words.


Finding time to be intimate can be tricky, especially for those of us with young children, but this just gives you more of a challenge to overcome.  I totally get it, by evening I am exhausted and I have learned it is best to give my hubby a time frame – if we are to become intimate it needs to begin before a certain time.  That may seem not very romantic, but open communication is important in a home with kids coming and going, a toddler and a husband that works out of town!

But being bedded does not always mean having to have sex, it also includes affection by hand holding, hugging, caressing and being close.  Sitting together holding hands can often be just as special.  It takes intentional actions.


Taking the time to create a nice atmosphere for my husband to arrive home to after being gone traveling is a huge blessing to him.  It is one way I can ‘date’ him in our own home.  We don’t have to go anywhere, but when I have the house picked up, candles burning or a nice meal on the stove, he is happy.  He knows I’ve been thinking of him – especially if it is a pie baking in the oven!  Fixing his favorite foods is an easy way to show him I care and am purposeful in serving him.


This one can be tricky if you have a man who declines help – but insist anyhow.  When they’ve had a rough day or are not feeling well,  be intentional to do something that will encourage him and make him feel better.  Maybe it is a cup of tea, a cold drink, a warm cookie or even letting him crawl back into bed to get some more sleep.  You know your spouse best, so think of those things in advance; those things that you know he would appreciate and finding comforting when he is a bit under the weather or feeling down.

It can be easy to procrastinate and always put off caring for your spouse.  We have our kids calling us all day and we tend to prioritize their needs above our spouses, because they are little, but our spouses our just as important and our relationship needs to be tended to and nurtured.

Just in time for Valentine’s day – a reminder for all year though!

Information Overload and Anxiety


Young woman reading bible by stream in summer

Before I get to the study today, I wanted to share about the “Getting Real – Conversations that Spark Change” Conference calls which are an optional supplement to this study.

When I was outlining this study and praying about what it would look like, I thought it would be really fun to have some “contact” with you all in a different way than just blog comments and Facebook posts.  I knew how much I enjoyed conference calls, especially when I can listen later as I take a run or pick up kids from school in the car – they are just another format to let information sink in and glean from experts.  So I gathered a group of wonderful ladies who I know you will enjoy listening to share their tips and strategies on being organized, creating a peaceful home and getting rid of the clutter.

So, without further ado, here is our line up!

I am so thrilled to offer these calls – they are going to be so fun!  To find out more details on all the calls you can click over to the “Getting Real – Conversations that Spark Change” Conference call page – you will be able to purchase there as well, these calls are $7 – yes, you get all 4 call access for only $7 – but it gets better.  


As a special kick off, if you purchase by Thursday, October 24th at midnight, you can get $2 off by using the code early at checkout and access will only cost you $5!

For more information, go ahead and check out the page and then come back over for the information on today’s study!

Chapter Two:

A few key sentences that got my attention:

“Identifying what is the most important piece of information at any given time is actually a skill you can learn.  It involves dismissing the unimportant (at the moment) and narrowing your focus to what is the most critical.”

“Many women stumble over the answer to this question:  What are the top priorities in my life?”

“As purposeful women, our priorities should determine our activities.  However, in our busy lives, the opposite happens:  our priorities are determined by our activities.  When we live an activity-driven life, we are never quote sure what’s more important.  When that happens consistently over time, a low level of anxiety settles in.” [Read more…]

Welcome to the New Reality


Chapter One

A few sentences that stood out to me from Chapter 1:

…”but those sparkling “somethings,” when combined, would suck us all into a vortex of mind-numbing information overload and clutter unknown to generations of women before us.”

“Life was simple back in the eighties.”

“What happened to simplicity?”

“My mind was trained to focus on one thing at a time, and there were very few interruptions in a normal day.”

“Information floods in from every direction, challenging me to process it, discard the unimportant and irrelevant, and save the important.  Without a solid filter for making those decisions, I find myself over-committed and on mental overload.” [Read more…]

I Used to Be So Organized Book Study – Week 1


Let’s Get Organized!

Here we are ladies, our first book and Bible study together – so exciting for me – truly!!!   I felt a calling to lead a study for moms online but wasn’t sure what it would look like or how it would go.  You are all my guinea pigs, so have grace  🙂

I pray you all have your books, but if you do not,  you can read the first two chapters online, so you won’t fall behind!  There is still time to share this study with your friends and invite them along.   You can refer them to the description page here with all the information on the study and options for participating.

Each Monday I will be posting the weeks reading assignment as well as the Bible memory verse for the week.  I have not been one to be good at memorizing verses, in fact I really only know one verse by heart – but I’ve known it for nearly 16 years – Proverbs 3: 5-6 and I am so glad I do know it and can draw from it.   [Read more…]

Breaking Free from Hopelessness – Naturally


Breaking Free from Hopelessness - Naturally

I have a huge heart and overwhelming empathy for women – especially moms – who are suffering from feelings of sadness and lack of joy. Whether it is a “winter blues” that comes your way every season, or a mild listless feeling you have that anchors over your spirit during certain periods, I get it. I’ve been there.

My struggle with feelings of hopelessness and overwhelm impacted my life every day. I was embarrassed, frustrated, felt like I was not good enough, and didn’t understand why God would not heal me of this.  

Did I lack faith or was it something else? It boggled my mind and it was all I could do some days to just get out of bed to be a mom to my kids.

I received a dozen emails in the last week alone about my journey to cope with motherhood and feelings of overwhelm and hopelessness. I have been renewed and had to share with others because I have found help in supporting my emotions and taking a more holistic approach by adding Young Living Essential Oils into my daily routine.  

(Here is an updated post I shared after altering my lifestyle in many ways. Make sure to stop by there as well!)

My Situation

I struggled with overwhelm and lack of joy for over 15 years. It was exhausting.

There are details of my story that aren’t necessary for this blog post, but I realize everyone is in a different place and path with their health and wellness. I was ready to receive advice and be empowered in my wellness journey, so I was completely ready to try a new path.

On January 14, 2013, I was introduced to Young Living Essential Oils and purchased my Premium Starter Kit and my journey to hope.

My Routine

I will be sharing my routine, the oils I used, and what I did. Also, know that I am not a doctor. Just another mom who sought natural ways to support my body and came out of the darkness.

I began using the oils that came in my Premium Starter Kit and honestly did not have any particular plan. I just began diffusing different oils at different times, inhaled them directly, and placed them NEAT in certain strategic places on my body. I’ll share a basic background before I share which oils I used.

Young Living Essential Oils Diffuser

Inhaling and Diffusing

Therapeutic essential oils produced by Young Living are extremely medicinal for mood upliftment. The best way to get the oils in the air of your home is by diffusing. I love that in the Premium Starter Kit offered by Young Living a diffuser comes with it! I wish I would have had mine when I first got my kit so I could begin from the start, but I waited a month before getting mine. I love my diffuser and now have several in my home.  

Inhalation Therapy 

Easy peasy. Just pick up the oil bottle, open it up, and smell as often as you like. This is a fast way to get the molecules right in and for them to begin their work.

Applying Neat

By dabbing oils on certain areas of your body you can get almost immediate relief. This is easy and takes little effort, which is always nice. Depending on the oils and your skin type you may want to dilute with a carrier oil (meaning mixing a drop or two of oil with a carrier oil, like grapeseed or olive oil).

Happy Essential Oils

Oils I Used


I honestly did not like the smell of this oil at first, but I had heard others say the same thing. It has been said that if you find an oil smell a bit disgusting or not attractive, your body needs it! I will agree with this now because my body did need this in a big way!  

Peace and Calming

I diffuse this one quite a bit. When I feel a bit of uneasiness begin to rise, I will apply this to my wrists and rub them together. I also use this in my bath water. 

Stress Away 

This oil is a favorite of many. I like the lime and vanilla scent. It really is different but so relaxing. If things get a bit cranky at our house, this goes in the diffuser and/or I apply it to the back of my neck. (This oil comes in the Premium Starter Kit.)


I love Lavender, for almost everything. You will find this diffused daily in my home. If I am not sure what to diffuse, I go with Lavender. It has such a calming fragrance and it just settles my mind. This is my oil of preference for bath time. (This oil comes in the Premium Starter Kit.)


I will dab Harmony on my wrists several times throughout the day as well. No big rhyme or reason to it.

Ruta Vala

I got this a few months after my Premium Starter Kit and I am so glad I did. I think it was a special offered through Young Living and I actually got it for free with the order I had placed. I honestly probably would not have ordered it. It would have not been on my radar. Such a nice thing with getting oils for free. You discover ones you would not otherwise have gotten!  

I have the roll-on which makes it super easy to apply and it is great for sleep. My feelings of overwhelm and sadness tend to increase or amplify when occasional stress and tension come in. I can find myself waking up several times in the middle of the night and then cannot settle down to get back to sleep. Or my mind might be racing before I go to bed and I find myself still laying there two hours after bedtime still awake!  

I open it and roll this on the side of my neck when I get ready for bed. Then I set it on my nightstand and have it ready if I wake in the middle of the night. If I do, I reach over and put a dab on my neck and lay back down. I tend to go back to sleep within 15 minutes. On the nights that I do not do this when I wake, I am usually awake two hours. I never forget this oil when I travel out of town!

Typical Day

In the morning, I use Joy and apply a drop or two to the area just above my heart. I do this right after I crawl out of bed. I also apply Valor to my wrists. I use Harmony in the same way, but will apply it to the side of my neck just behind my ears on each side.

I diffuse Joy, Peace and Calming, and Lavender throughout the day, whatever fits my mood. There really is not an exact science and you will just have to experiment a bit to find the right mix for you and your body. I do love diffusing because the rest of my family benefits from the oils being released in the air. It is amazing how calm it can get after 15 minutes of oils being diffused in our crazy family room!

I usually go back during the afternoon and place another round of Joy and Valor on, same as the morning. I might change it up with a different oil – like Motivation, Hope, or Clarity. It is a fairly simple routine and I love it!

If things tend to get a bit more heated up during the day, the nice thing is I can go to my oils at any time and inhale to get immediate relief. There is no time delay. I can feel a sense of peace as soon as I close my eyes and breath.


One thing I began doing as I was going a more natural route was to start taking 1-2 baths each week. I never was a bath person, but now I see the benefits of using oils in a bath as well as the salts.

A detox bath is using salts and oils is a way to help cleanse the body, relax the mind, and provide extra support to various systems of the body. You can get creative with bath salt recipes for detoxing, but I prefer a standard bath with Epsom salts (I like this one), mixed with Dead Sea Salts (I like this one), a bit of baking soda, and I mix in either Lavender oil or sometimes Rosemary or a combination (about 8-10 drops). Then sit and soak for 15-20 minutes. I had this homemade bath salt recipe I made for one of my first rounds, using ingredients I had on hand, but I prefer using Dead Sea Salts.

Vitamin D3

I also began taking a larger dose of Vitamin D3. I take 3000 IU a day. (Right now I take this brand, but as soon as I empty my supply I will be switching to this Young Living supplement –  OmegaGize³™ – which has Vitamin D as well as Fish Oil and essential oils.) I cannot get Vitamin D from sun exposure, so adding the extra Vitamin D has been my replacement. I do believe in the relationship to low Vitamin D and the incidence of mood issues, so it would be something to talk to your doctor about as well. 

If you are in need of emotional support, please know there is hope by adding natural elements into your daily life, including diet, prayer, nutrition, supplements, and oils.

*These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. I am just a mom sharing my experience in order to help others, not a doctor.