Does My Stress Affect My Kids?

24
Sep
2013


I’ve been under a bit of stress lately – I hate to admit it, but there are times it gets the best of me.   Stress for me not only reflects in my attitude, but higher levels of stress can trigger my depression and anxiety to begin to rise, which is not healthy at all and I want to keep far away, {thank goodness I have immediate help with my depression and anxiety right at my finger tips!}  I know we are commanded to not worry or be anxious, but the flesh so wants to take the drivers seat – can you relate?

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, my prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:6-7

“These kids are driving me crazy and no one is helping!”

When things get to be too much, often the ones in mom’s direct path take the brunt of the frustration. The way we deal with stress can affect our kids and will create a less than desirable atmosphere in our home.  In the moment, we forget the damage that can be done.  We yell, scream, roll our eyes in frustration, lose our patience and show our inability to control our emotions.  We act like children.  Embarrassing.  We teach our kids to do the same, which is really the wrong message.

Stress can be both good and bad. When we respond favorably in stressful situations, we learn to cope with the event and go on.  I’ve managed to become much better at running interference with rising stress.  I’ve been able to recognize the signs before I end up blowing my top.  I am so thankful, more often than not I just need to stop in my tracks, say a prayer and then breath deep.  When my kids see me stepping back and taking control, it teaches them a life skill that is extremely important. [Read more…]

Holding Your Tongue

26
Feb
2013


No one would bite their tongue if they could help it. The title is figurative.  Although at my house we have a lot of tongue biting going on from one little 3 year old who is often very anxious to eat and things just get carried away, but that is another topic!

Sometimes, when speaking to our kids, they might say something that makes us want to speak, but we know that doing so would damage the relationship we’ve built.

What do you do in these situations?

It can be hard to know when to speak and when not to. That is a struggle for all of us. It can be even more of a struggle when you are talking about your kids. We only want the best for them, but sometimes that means not saying our piece.

Today I will share six reasons to hold your opinion for the sake of  your child

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Their friends are around

They are emotional

The consequence is bad enough

Children will make their own mistakes

Criticisms

Impacting their opinion

It can be hard to bite your tongue, but knowing when to can make life better for you and your kids.

Do you intentionally ‘bite’ your tongue?

 
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18 Manners Worth Teaching

27
Oct
2011


We all want kids that show respect and are mindful of their actions with others, but when does that begin to matter?  Do you wait until your child embarrasses you at a party and does not give appropriate ‘thank you’ to those in attendance?

As parents, or at least for me, I hate those moments where you feel your child should know better, but their actions show something else.

So in order to avoid some embarrassing situations, I have found the earlier you begin teaching polite behavior the more time it has to be practiced and eventually stick.   Between the ages of 2 and 5, your preschool child is most receptive to learning the rules of polite conduct.  They aim to please at this age and will easily mimic behavior of others.  So if you are modeling the behavior you are trying to teach, your child will see this.  Take advantage of this critical age period to teach appropriate behavior.  When children are polite, kind to others and honest, they develop strong character traits that are set for life.

In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, we often do not have time to focus on etiquette, but if you reinforce these  must-know manners, you’ll raise a polite, kind and well-liked adult.  Mastering these simple rules of etiquette will get him noticed — for all the right reasons. [Read more…]

New Action Brings Change

13
Oct
2011


Isn’t it strange as parents we often find ourselves reacting the same way to behavior over and over again, yet we are hopeful that ‘THIS TIME” it will magically bring about a different result?

Why is it that we continue to think if we do the very same thing….that maybe on the 101st time it will produce a different outcome?

 

Is it realistic to think that when you are battling the same situation with one of your children that suddenly the light will come on in their head and they will see your point and comply?

 

Or do you need to change your approach?

 

I talk a lot about controlling what you CAN control versus trying to control what you cannot: AKA your child!

As moms, we tend to get into patterns of behavior that produces and often even encourages behavior that most drives us nuts.  We expect our children to somehow decide one day that they will automatically remember their backpack while headed out the door in the morning rush because we have reminded them 200 times for the past 6 months.

Let me just pop your bubble – it doesn’t work that way! [Read more…]

Who’s Really in Charge?

1
Jun
2011


This week on my blog talk radio show I continued the series covering the principles from my Becoming a Calm, Cool and Confident Mom Online Coaching Program.  I am discussing the life changing principles, one each week for the next 12 weeks.  Make sure you listen to the show on the player below, or subscribe to the show in iTunes so you won’t miss one!  If you are struggling with any issues in your home – you will not want to miss this series.

Do you find that your kids know just the right buttons to push?  It is like they have your ‘remote control’ and can get you to act however they want, WOW – what kind of power is that?  When we scream, no matter what words are coming out, we are always communicating the same message:  CALM ME DOWN! [Read more…]