Week Three : The Fringe Hours – Overcoming Obstacles


Week three bI have never been one that finds it easy to ask for help, just ask my husband.  It’s like pulling teeth!  For me to stop and open my mouth to physically ask for help  is almost seriously impossible for me.  I am sure there are some big reasons as to why – but it has created problems for me.

I have to get better in this area.

One thing I’ve learned over the years is that I waste time when I have to focus my brain on tasks that need done.  That is why I love things like the Weekly Household Planner, which spell tasks out and I can decide whether I want to do them or not.  However, I do not waste time trying to figure out what needs to be done each week.  Relief!

I also know that asking my family for help would relieve me of many stressful tasks and I know they would be wiling to help too, but I have an underlying issue that is spelled…. C-O-N-T-R-O-L.  Yep, I like to be in control.

In this chapter there are some great tips to focus on and remember as we head into our days with long lists.  The work of many will help ease the tasks of just one person.  When a family can share in the work, it makes it better for all.

Several years ago I relinquished to hiring a housecleaner.  Yes, the one who faithfully puts out a cleaning schedule has a housecleaner!!  But you know, it was an area that I had to give up and allow someone else to help with so that my strengths and passions could be used elsewhere (on this blog and mentoring others with Young Living.)  It was pivotal in my business and family life.

I still do many of the home keeping activities, but it is a relief to know that I can be reaching out to another mom on a phone call and or writing a blog post rather than mop my floor.  God has gifted me, just like he has you and during this season, He has blessed me with a housecleaner so I can be used in different ways.

“You can’t do everything, so don’t fall into the trap of trying.  Instead, find the moments in each aspect of your life that invigorate you, and imbalance your life toward those.”  –  Marcus Buckingham


Chapter 9, Embracing Help

Chapter 10, Overcoming Obstacles


(you’ll need to click through to the website to view the video)


Hop over to the Facebook page and join in the discussion.  This is where the majority of the community will happen, although you are certainly welcome to comment here on the blog too!


Here is a blog post I wrote about Delegating – I think I need to go back and read what I wrote before!! 

Week Three : The Fringe Hours – Prioritizing


Week 3 a Time, that magic word…. we either love it or find it haunting us.  We either feel we have enough or are lacking a lot. 

“One always has time enough, if one will apply it well.”   Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Ouch, I don’t think I really like that quote, only because I think it rings true.  I do waste a lot of time on unproductive things, which could in turn be used on good things – like self-care for me!  I find the issue of breaking bad habits hard, how about you?

I really loved this first section of the chapter as well….. it resonated with me immensely. 

“The prioritization of our passions benefits us in every way – internally (spiritually, mentally, and emotionally) and externally (in our relationships with other people and how we interact with them).  We are more fulfilled, which leads to greater joy and peace.”


Part 3, Maximize

Chapter 7, Prioritizing Your Activities

Chapter 8, Using Your Time Efficiently


(you’ll need to click through to the website to view the video)


Hop over to the Facebook page and join in the discussion.  This is where the majority of the community will happen, although you are certainly welcome to comment here on the blog too!

Week One – The Fringe Hours – Letting Go

We are reading the next two chapters, which cover our Self-Imposed Pressures and Eliminating Guilt and Comparison.  Boy, I need help with these areas!

I tend to place completely unrealistic expectations on myself, and often towards others too.  Then when I do not meet those expectations I carry guilt and condemnation like it is a trophy.  So much emotional stuff tied to this area.  As Jessica says, “Guilt is wreaking havoc on women’s lives and preventing them from taking care of themselves.”

I so agree, and I am one of those.  With a husband that travels out of town 3-4 days a week I feel guilty to take time away from if I were to do something on my own when he is in town.  So unless I really find a way to use my Fringe Hours – I am left empty again.

“The first step in eliminating feelings of guilt for investing in yourself is to give yourself permission.”    

That is my prayer – to allow myself permission to use time for things I enjoy and not be focused solely on my to-do list.  But today, as I write this post, my expectation for the day didn’t go as planned.  My great plan, was flipped upside down, as most mom’s can totally identify with.  I just spent the last 5 hours on a project that was not in my plan, thus taking away any white space I had in my day to enjoy time for me.  

That happens and tomorrow is a new day, thank goodness!


Chapter 2, Letting Go of Self-Imposed Pressures

Chapter 3, Eliminating Guilt and Comparison


I look forward to the conversation in the Private Facebook page over the next few days discussing these two chapters.  I know as we share, we are able to help each other overcome!

Week One: The Fringe Hours – Balance


Chapt 1
Here we are to kick this book study off!  I know many of you have already been reading – it is so good!

Self-care is not a ‘new’ topic – I’ve talked about it here on the blog many times, discussed it with moms I’ve coached and tried to implement in my own life.  But, it often gets neglected when we get out of routine or chaos begins to overrun our lives.  It goes to the very bottom of the list and then as with many things at the bottom, we never get to it.

Most of us have trouble juggling.  The woman who says she doesn’t is someone whom I admire but have never met.   Barbara Walters 

Pursuing Balance is our focus today.


Before We Begin

Part 1 – Explore

Chapter 1, Pursuing Balance  (pp. 13-36)


If you are reading this email in your inbox, you will need to click through to the blog to watch the video.



There are several great questions prompted in this first chapter, hop over to the Facebook page and join in the discussion.  This is where the majority of the community will happen, although you are certainly welcome to comment here on the blog too!

What resonated with you from the video?

Making Time For YOU!



Are you ready?  I am totally ready to shift my schedule and put to use those Fringe Hours I neglect.  I am ready to find Joy in my day – revitalize my soul and help you do it too!

Our book study starts Monday – April 13th!!!

Did you get your book yet, The Fringe Hours – Making Time for You, by Jessica Turner?

I shared last week about the book that was chosen, and now you get to begin diving in – all the goodness between two covers!  I am loving this book – and I especially love the thought provoking questions.  I know you will love the community that develops when we read a book together.


We start reading on Monday, but you can get a head start for sure!  

Here is the schedule:

Week One :  April 13-17
April 13th:   Chapter 1
April 15th:   Chapters 2 -3 
Week Two:  April 20-24
April 20th:   Chapter 4-5
April 22nd:   Chapter 6
Week Three:  April 27 – May 1
April 27th:   Chapter 7-8
April 29th:   Chapter 9-10
Week Four:  May 4 – 8
May 4th:   Chapter  11-13
May 8th:   Wrap Up

The posts will be here on the blog on the dates indicated, so make sure you are signed up to receive posts delivered to your inbox so you do not miss them.

Facebook group:

You will want to go over and join the Private Facebook Group so you can interact and get to know the other ladies who are joining you in this journey.

I also created a Pinterest board to share, if you are into that!  🙂

I am thrilled to share with you our volunteer mom moderators for this session too!


I’m a Midwesterner at heart, married to my college sweetheart for ten years with four incredibly curious children (ages 18 mos, 3, 6 and 8) who keep me on my toes!  We are a Navy family with four moves, a couple deployments, and an untold number of new experiences under our belts. Currently stationed in San Diego, I can most often be found chasing my toddler (who is in the climb-everywhere-and-dump-everything-out-stage), monitoring homework, tinkering in my kitchen or garden, figuring out how to streamline some aspect of homemaking and training my kids to clean up after themselves so we can have more time for family fun.  Mothering is by far the most challenging and fun role I’ve had in my life; I’m blessed to have a short term memory for the trials that can accompany it and a long term memory for the joys! 

I can’t wait to meet you as we explore strategies for better utilizing our fringe hours; right now I’m spending too many of mine catching up on household chores!


I have been married to my high school sweetheart for 17 years.  We have 4 amazing boys – ages 13, 12, 9 and 6 – all of whom have multiple food allergies and were blessed 2 years ago this month to welcome a little girl from Russia to our crazy house.  I am a SAHM who tries (and often fails) to balance family and a part time photography and cake business.  I love reading, home (little bit of a homebody…), Jesus, adoption and families – I am passionate about supporting other moms! 


I am a creative, thoughtful, nature/animal lover, God – loving, deal finding money saving Mom.  I am 45 years old and work full time as an Animal Care Supervisor.  I have been married for 13 years and have 3 children ages 21, 19 and 9. I am a stepmother (to the older children) and the youngest child was adopted.  My children have made my heart grow bigger and I am a better person and mother because of them, I love them dearly.   I enjoy encouraging and supporting other mothers, to enjoy and value time with their kids and to keep life simple. It’s a jungle out there!


I am a wife and mother of three kids, ages 11, 8 and 15 months. We make our home near Birmingham, AL. I am a stay at home mom during the week, and an Occupational Therapist at an area hospital on the weekend. I lead a small group at our church for moms with kids in all ages and stages. I also blog at MrsDisciple.com. My Fringe Hours are spent reading, writing, and running.  I believe we were all created to live in community and I am thankful for the women in my life that enrich my spiritual journey, both in person and online.   


I have been married to Scott for the past 20 years and we live in England with our 5 children, Charlotte 18, Alexander 16, Benjamin 12, Emily 11 and Jemima 10.  I homeschooled until last September when the children all started attending Church of England schools.  I qualified as a nurse but re-trained as a teacher after the birth of my first child so that I could stay at home with the children during the day and work evenings and Saturdays when Scott could care for the children.  I teach antenatal classes mainly but also support parents through those crucial early months of parenthood.  Scott and I are committed Christians and the family is very involved with church life.  Scott is a church leader and runs the youth club, while I run the bumps and babes group, teach Sunday School, and play the piano for services.  As a family we are keen on sport.  Scott runs a Saturday football (soccer) league for children and referees other matches, while I and the two older children are gymnastic coaches.


My name is Melissa Tenpenny. I am 41 yrs old, the wife of my high school sweet heart for nearly 20 yrs. We have 4 children ranging in age from 8-18. I homeschool the 3 younger ones as well as all the other things that comes with being a mommy (swim practice, ball practice, homework help, kissing boo-boos, laundry every.day!) as well as being a wife and mommy to 3 fur babies. We live in the western mountains of North Carolina, where both my husband & I grew up. My hobbies include reading, learning more about whole foods & nutrition, exercise & crafting.
Beyond all the “factual details”, I am a God girl – I love Jesus, I struggle with understanding why he would save a hot mess like me at times! I wonder daily if I am doing a “good enough” job as a wife & mommy. I fight against the feeling that I’ve lost my identity over the years from the misconception that I must give up myself for my family, friends, church & community. 

Isn’t it going to be fun?

Here are a few goodies for you to tide you over and create some excitement:

You can download one of three FREE Phone Wallpapers – which will be a great reminder as we go through this book – you can do that HERE.

Here is the podcast where I first learned of Jessica’s book a few months back, on Kat’s Inspired to Action podcast – you will love hearing the two of them share.  LISTEN HERE.

I look forward to seeing you on Monday – feel free to share this post with other friends and invite them along – I know it will be a huge blessing!