9 Traits of a Life-Giving Mom – Week Eleven

11
Aug
2014

Main-border-study

We begin week eleven of our journey reading Sue Detweiler’s book, 9 Traits of a Life Giving Mom: Replacing My Worst with God’s Best.   {Psst…. this is our final week!!}

I honestly get a little sad when we get to the end of a book study – we’ve gotten to know each other and bits of our story on the Facebook page and we all have had our own journey through the material.  Having an awakening (or not) on topics read.  This study has been great and I am so glad you joined me in the journey.

Week Eleven

Read  Chapter Eleven – Life-Giving Moms Give Life

I will be back tomorrow with a quick post on my thoughts about Chapter Eleven and will introduce some questions through out the week on the private Facebook page.   This will wrap up this study – so if you have time to catch up on the reading to close it out with us, please do! 

(you will need to click through to the main blog to view the videos)

Chapter Eleven Video

 

I will be back tomorrow with my thoughts as I read Chapter Eleven and I’ll see you on the Facebook page!

Replacing My Pride with God’s Gentleness

29
Jul
2014

replace-pride-gods-gentleness

I have to admit, I will start this post by admitting, I like to be right.  I do not like to be wrong, and if I am wronged, I certainly like to make sure that no one can mistake that I was wronged.  

I deal with pride all the time.  It is ugly, I am not proud that I have to admit it, but at least I am aware and will admit. It is when we deny that things can turn really ugly.

“It’s more important for you to be in right relationship with others than to try to always be right.  Admit when you are wrong.” 

I would say I lived a lot of my life in arguments, holding grudges and wanting to prove myself to others and make them admit I was right.  I wasted a lot of time and certainly increased my anxiety and emotional exhaustion.  It just doesn’t work to always be looking to make others “see”.

I am so glad that God has been able to weave into my heart a new way of thinking. I am certainly not perfect and struggle, I will be the first to admit it.  But as I’ve aged and learned a lot of hard lessons about my actions and how I could have responded differently to different situations, I have grown.

I also admit I am not ‘clothed in gentleness’ really either.  That would certainly not be one of the first words someone would think of when they meet me.  I tend to be a bit more harsh on most things….I am a black and white person.   I have to be very intentional to offer grace in many situations where other people may automatically just give it.  (Boy, I am revealing a lot here on this page, ouch!).  But you know, I have grown and I am better than I was even a few years ago.

I can see this is both my marriage but even more so with my kids, especially my older kids.  I can see over the past 5-6 years that I have been able to be calm and collected when they come to me with an issue or problem.  I can remember when my 16 year old daughter came and had to tell me she got a speeding ticket, she was terrified.  She thought I would rant on to her about her mistake…..but I didn’t.  I just asked her what we were going to do about it, and we moved on from there. 

Being calm and gentle go hand in hand.

I can agree with this statement Sue makes, and I hope you can too, if not….I suggest you pray on how you can get to this place to be ‘safe’ for your kids.

“Hopefully, you have this place of trust and safety with all of your children.  They know that if they open up to you, you will not judge them or condemn them.”

That is success as a parent in my book.  I want my kids to know I won’t FREAK out and try to make MY point, when all they really need is a loving and accepting mom.  Full of compassion and grace.

Where do you struggle with pride?  What relationships do you find suffer because of that struggle?

9 Traits of a Life-Giving Mom – Week Seven

14
Jul
2014

Main-border-study

We begin week seven of our journey reading Sue Detweiler’s book, 9 Traits of a Life Giving Mom: Replacing My Worst with God’s Best.  

Week Seven

Read  Chapter Seven – Replacing My Manipulation with God’s Goodness

Trait 1:  Goodness

I am sure this chapter will bring up some areas in our life that are painful.   We try so hard as parents to do “just the right thing or make just the right decision” and honestly – our kids are in control of their actions and choices.  It can be so frustrating and defeating.  I hope we all can explore this area throughout the week.

“Hope in the Goodness of God”

God is good and remembering that can be hard when you are in difficult situations.  Like when your child is diagnosed with a brain tumor, or you lose your home to bankruptcy or even when disaster strikes your small town.  It is hard to remember and feel His presence – I have a very difficult time in those situations for sure.  I want to grab hold no matter the circumstance and know – truly know deep down how good God is.

I will be back tomorrow with a quick post on my thoughts about Chapter Seven and will introduce some questions through out the week on the private Facebook page.  

If you haven’t printed out the prayers that are covered in the chapters click HERE on Sue’s website.  Here is this trait for Goodness!

goodness

(you will need to click through to the main blog to view the videos)

Chapter Seven Video

 

I will be back tomorrow with my thoughts as I read Chapter Seven and I’ll see you on the Facebook page!

Overcoming My Negativity with Kindness

8
Jul
2014

God's-Path-For-Your-Family

This particular chapter really spread to a topic that is ever dear to my heart and often misunderstood.  Adoption.  I found it quite interesting that Sue chose this chapter to share about her experience with adoption, and especially an adoption that was not ‘easy.’

For those who may not know part of my story, I had never thought in my ENTIRE LIFE about adoption, up until about 6 years ago.  Then my life changed, as God revealed His heart to have me be a vessel to care for one of His children.  I had never once wanted to adopt, thought of adoption and did not truly believe that my heart could love another child that I didn’t give birth to.

Now that may sound a bit harsh, but it was a fear I had – even after God put the thought of adoption on my heart, that I would be able to care for physical needs, but to truly love another child that someone else gave birth to was a real fear.

“As mothers, we have the unique privilege of partnering with God to give life to our children.”

I will say God works when we need Him too for sure – as he worked in my heart and overcame my fear for me.  🙂  

Back to the negativity that creeps in….the tones that sneak around the corner and come from nowhere.  I relate – too easily.  What hit me when I read this chapter is this quote:

“As a mom I have been too results-oreinted and not enough process-oriented.”

I tend to not give as much attention to the process or maybe how I get them there.  This is a weak area for me.  I want kids that can do what they need to do, but I can often forget that their feelings and who I teach them to manage tasks and teach abilities are also equally important.

I think this was brought home to me even more when this little child was brought into our home at the age of 12 months and I realized that I didn’t have the history to know what his little heart had been through before I met him.  I have to consciously stop and think what he has seen or experienced that I am unaware of.

I need to remember that I am here to love first and teach second, a different approach then I perhaps had with my previous children.  Thankfully I am older and I hope just a bit wiser to know that I can be more aware of these needs of his – which is precisely why God waited so long to put the thought of adoption on my heart.

I needed to mature in His ways.

And I still am maturing and will continue till I leave this earth.  I have many negative parenting traps that I have to constantly ‘nip’ so that I can re-direct my path.  I apologize and reframe my requests.  I am a work in process.

I need to consistently show kindness to my kids – well to everyone – but especially my kids and I know I can’t do this in my own strength – hardly!  My mind can play tricks, repeat bad verbiage in my head and create bad patterns.  I need HIM everyday to help guide me.

My biggest takeaway for this week:

“How much are you affirming your kids’ value?  It’s probably easy to affirm and rejoice in your children when they are making positive choices.  It is easy to let the light in your eyes delight over them when there is a positive connection between you, but what about when your relationship is strained?”

oh, okay and one more goodie!!

“God’s kindness will lead you into adventures of faith.  The good news is that He equips those He calls.  There is more than enough grace to receive God’s promise.  Embrace God’s path for your family.”

Don’t forget to use the amazon link below when you purchase on amazon to share the LOVE with three girls in India – each time you purchase you are making a donation to their sponsorship through Compassion!!

9 Traits of a Life-Giving Mom – Week Six

7
Jul
2014

Main-border-study

We begin week six of our journey reading Sue Detweiler’s book, 9 Traits of a Life Giving Mom: Replacing My Worst with God’s Best.  

Week Six

Read  Chapter Six – Replacing My Negativity with God’s Kindness

Trait:  Kindness

“Kindness is love in motion.”

I love that simple definition for Kindness.  How I wish I could remember that all the time.  I think I will write it on sticky notes and post it in key places so I can see it, read it and embed it in my heart.

I find that I get busy and can easily get short with my kids and my husband.  I tend to get stressed and anxious, which heightens my inability to actively share kind words and actions.  UGH!  I hate to remember all the times I have fallen short.

Feel free to begin the questions in the Study Guide, which can be found in the back of your book, Lesson 6.  Have a journal you can write down your answers and reflections to the questions – be honest and spend some time here ladies.  Have you taken the time during the study to thoroughly visit each trait and actively allow God to work?

I will be back tomorrow with a quick post on my thoughts about Chapter Six and will introduce some questions through out the week on the private Facebook page.  

If you haven’t printed out the prayers that are covered in the chapters click HERE on Sue’s website.  Here is this week’s trait of Kindness – it’s a good one! 

6.-The-Fruit-of-Kindness

(you will need to click through to the main blog to view the videos)

Chapter Six Video

 

I will be back tomorrow with my thoughts as I read Chapter Six and I’ll see you on the Facebook page!