Week Four : The Fringe Hours – Relationships

4
May
2015

 Week four a

This week will run a bit different, you have all week to read three chapters as we discuss them on the Facebook page.  I will do a final closing post on Friday – so really take your time and allow this week to fill your heart, energize you and allow the message to sink in.

Being an introvert, I find it hard to be around a lot of people at a time – but I do enjoy doing activities and spending time with smaller groups.  Community – that is what we are truly made for – relationships.  

As a mom who works from mom, does most of her interactions online and has a husband who travels 3-4 days a week, I find myself in a little cocoon.   I find myself alone all week long, so this chapter was encouragement for me to stretch myself and make time to get out and meet up with friends.

I can’t wait to discuss what elements of these chapters truly resonate with you!

“One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand to be understood.”  Lucius Annaeus Seneca

READ

Part 4, Live Well

Chapter 11, Cultivating Community

Chapter 12, Finding Rest

Chapter 13, Living Well

(you’ll need to click through to the website to view the video)

Hop over to the Facebook page and join in the discussion.  This is where the majority of the community will happen, although you are certainly welcome to comment here on the blog too!

EXTRA! EXTRA!

The Fringe Hours Manifesto as a beautiful printable – what better way to remember what you are reading and trying to change in your life?  Click the link and download a copy right away. It will be an on-going source of encouragement and inspiration to help you pursue the kind of time for yourself that energizes your heart, soul and spirit.

New Book Study Announced – The Fringe Hours

30
Mar
2015

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It’s time for you to find time for you!  I know – you say, “what time, I am busy from sun-up to sundown with no time to spare.”  I get it.  This is where our next book study will help you
pinpoint pockets of time in your day that where you can fulfill some passion ready bloom.

Announcing “The Fringe Hours: Making Time for You” by Jessica Turner as our next book
club study, April 13 – May 8th.  

Does this resonate with you?

(if you are reading in an RSS feed, you will need to click through to view the video)

 

We will be reading through the book in a period of FOUR weeks beginning April 13th.  I am so excited to share that six other moms will join me in facilitating discussion on our Private Facebook page too, I will introduce them to you next week – I love building community in this way.

Here is what you need to do right now to join us:

1.  Grab your own copy of “The Fringe Hours:  Making Time For You.TFH

2.  Mark your calendar to set aside time to read during the four week window.  You can start early and be ready for our conversation to start on April 13th!

3.  You can join our Private Facebook Page where you will find community and other women who face the same struggles as you do.  I know you will love it.

4.  The study will take place here on the blog, where I will post the reading schedule, videos and more – so there is nothing more for you to subscribe to, just subscribe to the blog to get posts delivered right to your inbox!

5.  Please share this with your friends – the more the merrier!

Expectations, Disappointment and Reality

11
Nov
2014

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I think this week’s reading will really open your eyes to the reality of where we are as moms and women.  At least for me, it has been pivotal in my understanding how I feel I get “trapped” into saying yes so many times, when I know I should say no.

Disappointment is very real in my life and this quote really hit my heart:

“The space between our expectations and our realities is a fertile field, and it’s the perfect place to grow a bumper crop of disappointment.”

To be perfectly authentic and vulnerable to you all…. I struggle with this constant feeling of disappointment because my expectations are not truly understood by me, or I get visions of what something ‘could’ be like and then it is not.  I can see how this all plays out now in my desire to say yes to even those things that are not my Best Yes.

To be even more honest, I feel that in the past six to eight months, I have lived in that space where constant disappointment drains me dry.  I don’t want to be in this place….. I am not a nice person in this place and certainly am not the best me.  Isn’t that what we all truly desire, to be the best ‘us’?

To be the best me, I have to understand what makes me tick, what is missing and where I need to change.  I have realized that using Lysa’s guidelines when determining new opportunities will help me.

What makes an expectation unrealistic? When an opportunity stretches me to a breaking point, it becomes unrealistic.  Usually for me the areas I have to consider are:

*My time.  The schedule required to meet all the demands of this opportunity isn’t in line with the time I have to invest.

*My ability.  I’m not equipped with the necessary skills to carry out the functions of this opportunity.

*My money.  I can’t afford the financial responsibilities that comes along with this opportunity.

*My passion.  The responsibilities of this opportunity evoke a sense of dread instead of fulfillment in my heart.

*My season.  There is something that must take a higher priority during this season of my life, therefore the timing is off for me to take this opportunity.

The Best Yes, pg 243

The one that I identify with the most is My Passion.  I have to say there are several things in my life now that are not fitting in with the passion I once felt, thus draining me and giving me a sense of dread.

How do I fix this?  Prayer and determining how to decline even more opportunities that come my way, which in fact need to be given those small no’s.

“Give the best of who you are to what you’re already committed to.”  pg 123

This little gem is what I am keeping near.  Is that not the type of whisper we all need to hear?  I want to give my best to what I am already committed to, which will mean saying no to many other things that tantalize my interest.

What caught your eye the most in this week’s reading so far?  I would love to hear from you.

Join us over on the Facebook page for more community and sharing

Week Four – The Best Yes

10
Nov
2014

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Last week’s reading really stuck with me, the element of trading things in our life before we add other things as a way to help us determine our Best Yes.  This is certainly an area I need to work on more, as I am better at saying yes to something more and not letting go of something else.

I loved this verse in Chapter Nine

“The choices we make will determine if we end up with the virtue of wisdom or the vice of folly.”

I want to be a woman of wisdom, like the one described in Proverbs 9: 1-6 not the one that is described in Proverbs 9: 13-18.  Things to take with me as I move ahead into our next section of reading.

This week we are reading Chapters 10-12 of The Best Yes.  

We will be exploring expectations – both realistic and unrealistic, the power of the small No (can’t wait to understand that one more) as well as handling those awkward times we have to say No.

I hope as you’ve made your way through the book you’ve become more aware of situations in the past were you’ve accepted responsibilities without truly thinking about them.  Understanding where we have created patterns of behavior that do not help us are important to helping to change the future.   

Many of you have become a bit frustrated that you have not kept up with the reading or sharing on the Private FB group – the book will always be here and you will find the time when it is YOUR Best Yes.  I encourage you to take the time now though and not to miss this time to share together with other women who are traveling this journey with you.  I know the Lord has a blessing in store for you, if you commit.

If you are participating in the extra reading of Proverbs, you’ll want to be sure to read Proverbs 20 – 25.

Announcement:

There was to be a Live Facebook Chat this week, on Thursday at 6:15 PM, but we are having to cancel that chat due to an unexpected scheduling conflict.  Do not worry, we have one more set for the last week of our study and I know it will be fun to reflect on our growth together as a group!

I will see you back here tomorrow with my thoughts on this weeks reading.  Be sure to hop over to the Facebook page and share in the community!

Making the Best Choices

4
Nov
2014

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There is no such thing as a perfect decision.

I need to be reminded of this constantly – how about you?  It’s funny, I used to be more a “go with it” kinda gal, I just made decisions on the fly….and then something happened and I now tend to be more apprehensive and timid in some decision making.

What I’ve learned so far during this study is that I need to make a request to the Lord and then wait and listen.  Truly listen.  Be silent, waiting for direction or some clear indication of what I need to do.  Rather, I will make a request and then hurry along and not really be that fixed on waiting for the direction.  I tend to be an action person…. rarely sitting back and waiting.

It was refreshing for me to read this line:

“As long as you desire to please God with your decisions, no decision you make will be completely awful.”

I think I am fearful the most of making the wrong choice, so I get paralyzed.

This is where I know Lysa’s discussion in Chapter Seven, “Consider the Trade” will help me moving forward.  I need to be realistic with my season of life and what more I can take on.  I have to be willing to let something go in order to take on a new challenge or task.

“If I want to choose a Best Yes, it’s crucial I make room for it first.  Otherwise, a Best Yes can quickly become a stressed yes.”

This quote reminds me of how many experts say you should give up a bad habit, or what can make it easier.  They say that instead of just trying to give it up cold turkey, you should replace it with something else.  So, instead of just giving up diet coke cold turkey… replace it with something that you would enjoy (maybe not as much) but that you can do instead.  This will give you something to do instead of the thing you are trying to give up.  It is almost the same type of process, replacing or trading.

When we look at our days and evaluate our time, we often are book “full.”  So when we want to consider another item on our agenda, we certainly need to realistically decide to “trade” out something.  I know many have discussed on the FB page that we often just keep doing some of the tasks we’ve done for years, just because we’ve done them for years. We don’t really take the time or consideration to know if they are still the “Best Yes” for us now.  

I love the idea of looking at what we have on our plates right now and determining if those decisions we made years ago are still the Best Yes.  

This will be my assignment for myself during the next week.  Breaking apart how I spend my time and determining if those commitments I made years ago, are still right for me today.

Join us over on the Facebook page for more community and sharing