Don’t Rush In

22
Dec
2011


As I enjoy some family time this week and take some time to heal an injured right arm (not suppose to be typing!!), I wanted to share with you a post that was a favorite of you readers a little over two years ago.  It is always a great reminder.  In addition, be on the lookout next week as I launch my new Weekly Household Planner for 2012 – you won’t want to start the New Year with out it!

Isn’t our goal as parents to help develop problem solving skills in our children? 

I think as busy moms, we often forget and take the easy road and solve problems for our kids.  By repeating the habit of giving answers to our children instead of allowing them the opportunity to figure something out on their own we are really creating MORE dependent children rather than creating self-reliant adults.

Another way to think about this reminds me of what ScreamFree Parenting author Hal Runkel says, “Everywhere you see reference to parents raising kids…..but really, aren’t we in the process of raising adults – not kids?” 

I tend to keep that little tid-bit of reference tucked into my mom tool belt to help remind me of the situations that I want my kids to work through and solve on their own.  Allowing your children to struggle and solve problems is a true gift, you cannot develop problem solving skills by reading about them, it is all in the experience. [Read more…]

If You Get In A Hole, You Have To Get Yourself Out

27
Sep
2011


By Tamara Wilhelm, MA, LMHC, LCAC

One of my favorite things to do is listen to my husband’s grandparents tell us stories about things they’ve experienced in their life. One of the stories that sticks with me the most is one his grandmother told about getting her car stuck in a pothole.

Grandma was out running errands in a shopping center one day and was driving in the parking lot. It had been raining hard, and a very large pothole had filled up with rain water and was not visible to drivers. As she drove over the pothole, her tire got stuck in the pothole (can I reiterate this was a very large pothole!) and her car was immobile. She was stuck.

Grandma proceeds to call grandpa to let him know she’s stuck in the hole & needs his help. His response? “You got in the hole, you get out of it!” Ouch. She was furious. She needed help. Now she was stuck and alone.

Now I doubt grandpa knew what he was doing at the time. To most of us, it looks as though he’s being a rude and unsupportive husband. However, at closer look, he’s not enabling his wife. Instead, he is forcing her to figure out things for herself. [Read more…]