“No one is perfect… that’s why pencils have erasers!”

2
May
2011


By Teri Claassen MSW, LCSW

If you heard someone say, “I’m perfect”, you would automatically discount their word. They are lying. It is an impossible goal.

So why are there so many perfectionists in the world? Many people I work with in therapy struggle with this issue, including myself! Our emotional brain says, “Strive for it”, while our logical brain says, “You’ll only fail”. But the emotional brain’s power takes over, and we try over and over again.

Wise Words about Perfectionism

A man would do nothing if he waited until he could do it so well that no one could find fault.  ~John Henry Newman

Once you accept the fact that you’re not perfect, then you develop some confidence.  ~Rosalynn Carte [Read more…]

No Worries, You’re Not Done Yet!

19
Feb
2010

“We know what we are, but not what we may be.” -William Shakespeare

This line is worth looking at from two different angles. First, from our own: Just because you came from a family of screamers, doesn’t mean that you are destined to become one yourself. Just because you struggle now with confidence in your parenting decisions, doesn’t mean that you always will. Don’t condemn your future self with all sorts of negative talk and self-doubt. Pardon the cheesy pun, but you are a human becoming. You aren’t done yet, so don’t go around thinking that you are. Instead of getting caught in an imaginary rut, keep working hard to take the steps you need to in order to become the person you WANT to be.

Now, as for the second angle – this same line of thinking is true for your children. Just because your son has a hard time with his chores now doesn’t mean that he’ll grow up to be irresponsible and lazy. Just because your daughter isn’t gregarious at parties doesn’t mean that she’s doomed to spend her adult years friendless. You may think that you know what your child is like, but remember that they too are human becomings and the more you can allow for amazing possibilities, the more likely that you’ll find them.   –Hal Runkel, LMFT author of ScreamFree Parenting

 

Negative talk, boy – we as mom can do enough of that to ourselves for our entire family!   How often do you find that you get caught up in that rut where it seems like nothing will change?  You want your children to change, but the first person that needs to change is you.  Yep, parenting is not about the kids, it’s about parents. I love the reference of parents not “being done yet”.  That is so true, in everything.  We will never be perfect, we will never have arrived completely until we enter the gates of Heaven, so we continue to work on ourselves for the benefit of our families and our self.

 

Why not replace all the negative self talk with positive affirmations?  It is much easier to have a better day when you can look at things in a better light, don’t you find that true?  Know that you will not be the same tomorrow that you were today, you are constantly improving and strengthening areas – and that is the wonderful thing about waking up each day – it is a new day to continue to grow and encourage that in our children too!  Just remember, tomorrow is a new day and you are not done yet!