Do you ever think you would like to end the repeating, multiple warnings to stop unwanted behavior or repeating directions to your children? What is stopping you?
An interesting point of conversation was brought up the other night in my ScreamFree Parenting Teleseminar, by author Hal Runkel. What if you never gave two warnings EVER again? How do you think your relationship with your child would change? What would happen? Would it be positive or negative? Let’s take a minute and examine some of the ideas that came from the conversation the other night.
If you never gave two warnings ever again to your children, do you think they would learn to listen the first time you spoke? We are creatures of habit and I can tell you that your children have grown accustom to you repeating yourself over and over for their benefit. Whether it is warnings, directions or requests, it is all the same. I love how Dr. Kevin Leman states this in his book, “How to Have a New Kid by Friday,” (by the way, hate the title, like the concepts). He says, “If you want your child to take you seriously, say your words once. Only once. If you say it more than once, you’re implying, I think you are so stupid that you’re not going to get it the first time, so let me tell you again.” Do you see how by repeating yourself to them they get used to NOT having to listen to you the first time or second time because they know you will continually repeat your words until they decide to listen? It is that simple, stop repeating yourself. Have a conversation with your children, and simply explain this sentence to them, you don’t think they are stupid so you are not going to be treating them that way anymore. You will be amazed at the outcome, if you are consistent.
Another term that falls into this topic was the term “ridiculously consistent.” I love it. The most difficult area for parents to follow through on is consistency. Being ridiculously consistent means really putting forth that effort to hold to what you know you need to do NO MATTER WHAT. It means almost 100% of the time following through with what you say. This is where most parents end up finding things just don’t work and they wonder why. I can almost guarantee if you continue to do the same thing over and over again and your child learns to trust you and your word, things will start changing in your home.
If your child understood that they would have to listen to you the first time because you weren’t repeating yourself or giving multiple warnings, you would undoubtedly earn the respect you think you deserve as a parent. Your children would learn to trust you and then respect would come naturally. I wonder how else your relationship with your children would change if you never game two warnings again? How about their level of cooperation? How about their feeling of confidence in themselves? I am curious what other areas will be impacted. I would love to hear your thoughts and experience as you incorporate being “ridiculously consistent in never giving two warnings” again!
