Chapter Eight – Learning to Love Your Real Home


I just came back from being out of town for 4 days – which for me is full of anxiety.  You see, I hate to admit I am rather a neat-nik, or one that likes to have things put away.  My stress level goes up ten fold if people are leaving stuff all over the house, not cleaning up after themselves and just plain being lazy.

Usually when I return from being gone I am met with incredible anxiety because, well……I have left 4 guys all on their own, and to be honest…..guys are guys!  They just aren’t that concerned with putting things away or cleaning up stuff they “just might use again real soon.”

So I was surprised when I came in and things were not a disaster.  My hubby had taken great care to have things picked up and he knew if he took that extra step, my stress level would be lowered, and I would be a happier mama.

I know, you might be saying, “I wish I had that”.  We all have our struggles for sure and we all live with a variety of people, but the one thing that I think changed for me, was that I changed my expectations.  I cannot expect the house to look like when I left, that is completely unrealistic.

Rather, I can appreciate what has been done with my heart in mind to create an environment that is less cluttered and messy.  Because honestly, I could have continued on a rant at what “had not” been done to my satisfaction, but I chose to appreciate what had been done.  {BIG learning curve for me, and still something I need to work on!}

We talked about clutter and organization in our last book study, “I Used to Be So Organized” and you might be able to get some tips if you did not read that book with us, as well as a post I did when my 2014 Weekly Household Planner was released.  I share some ideas on how to keep an organized kitchen as well as a post about creating a place your family loves to come home to.  All great additional resources.

The kitchen is the heartbeat of the home. 

I love the idea of using a kitchen timer to help you maintain some order in your home.  I was just talking with a mom I was coaching last week about using this item that is already in most of our kitchens, yet in a way that will keep us focused and on track.  How can you use it to help you stay on track of different tasks you need to do?

Determine which is the hardest room for you to manage and pick one thing to work on or focus on this week.

There are no perfect homes, so you have to determine what level of organization and cleanliness works for your family. 

Changing your Expectations

I’ve already shared how this is a critical place to start.  What does this look like for you?  What ‘ideas’ do you need to give up or let go?  How will doing so create a different level of peace in your heart or decrease stress?

Replace Fear

Can you find a level of comfort in allowing your home to be ‘guest ready’, so you can enjoy having others in your home rather than always coming up with excuses?  I love some of Jill’s suggestions.

Replacing Insecurity with Confidence

We are our worst critics – right?  I can almost guarantee that others are NOT thinking the same things that we tend to think of ourselves.  So why not try to change your thinking just a bit.  I know, it takes practice, a lot, but the sooner you start the better!

Replace Judgment with Grace

This has been a constant theme in this book – allowing for grace to flood our hearts.  Remember that you need to give yourself grace and learn to be okay with where you are and the path you have been given.

Embrace your beautiful, imperfect home – yes!  It is a place your family can gather in and feel safe.

What is one thing you highlighted/noted as you read this chapter?  Why did it strike you as important?

Have you changed your expectations about your house in anyway?  How has it helped you to love your real house?

Share To

Share on facebook
Share on pinterest
Share on linkedin
Share on twitter

Suggested Blog Posts