Taken from Screamfree Parenting Tip of the Day by Hal Runkel, LMFT
” Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. “
— Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)
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If the greatest leader of one of the most revolutionary times had this belief about himself and his own movement, why can’t we? So many times, we get caught up in figuring out the exact right consequence and making sure that it “gets” to our kids in exactly the right way that we lose the moment altogether and throw up our hands in defeat. That’s not the point of consequences. They are simply designed to give your kids boundaries while you lead them in the right direction. When you are trying to change a pattern, you are going to bump up against tremendous resistance. And in those times, think of the little man from India who did such a big thing. Keep moving forward in your quest to stay calm, cool, and connected and stop worrying so much about trying to be perfect. That kind of thinking will only paralyze you and your efforts to become ScreamFree. |
This is a key point I think a lot of parents miss – doing nothing because they think it will not be the “right” thing. When you choose to let the moment go by and not give a consequence or acknowledge what has taken place you lose that opportunity to stand firm and be consistent with your children. That wonderful word that so many parents think is a bad one – BOUNDARIES! Children CRAVE limits and boundaries. You can hardly come back to an issue later and try to discipline or use it as a teaching moment. Take heart and know that you do not have to be perfect with every consequence or action, but by doing something rather than nothing you are making a difference.
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