As we begin a new school year, I typically get a lot of questions on how to handle homework. You cannot avoid it – if you are a parent you will be involved in homework with your child at some level. The biggest thing I reiterate to parents when I work with them is, your child’s homework is just that – your child’s homework.
If you are not careful you can be manipulated into taking a larger portion of the ownership of that homework than is good for you and most importantly in the best interest of your child. You can certainly be involved without talking complete control over it and I totally recommend being available to help your child make corrections and ask questions, but doing your child’s homework for them certainly defeats the purpose of homework.
Take it from a mom who is now sending one off to college, I am hoping to see that what I did as a parent truly set her up for success. That is our desire as parents, to give our children the skills and motivation they will need when they no longer are within the safety of the four walls we call home.
I’ll share with you a few tips that have had positive benefits in dealing with homework in our home during the years.
Be interested
Your involvement will vary depending on the age of your child, but even with a high-schooler who is fairly independent – show interest. Ask questions and try to keep up to date on what big projects are coming due as well as daily assignments. With younger children it will be much easier as you will be guiding them to develop interest in their homework and building the desire to share information with you. Open communication begins early and will be easy to continue into the teenage years.
Teach your child how to be organized
Starting at a very young age, encourage your child to keep a homework assignment notebook or folder. Typically lower grades will have assignments listed for the week on one sheet or a packet that is sent home. But soon, your child will have to keep track of different assignments due on different days. Begin to develop a system that they can “grow into” as the work increases. I cannot stress the value of developing organizational skills. It is no use for your child to do the work if they cannot find it to turn in.
Develop a routine
Find a plan that works for your family and stick with it. Decide on a time to be set aside for homework and try it out for a period of time. Routine is extremely helpful in completing homework in a timely manner and with the least amount of resistance. Your child’s personality and strengths will come into play considering their best time to accomplish homework. It could be immediately following a snack time after school, or it could be following dinner. Pick one and be consistent with the time to see how it works. Developing a set time will help to avoid procrastination and the power struggle everyday with “when” homework will be done.
Homework home base
Make sure your child has a specific place to do their homework. Establishing a specific location that homework is done will help in the routine. You will want to find a spot that offers ample lighting, minimal noise and plenty of work space. Be especially aware of finding a place with the least possible distractions. A dining room table may work well for some children, but others may need a desk area set up within a room where a door can be closed. Have ready a variety of supplies that might be needed, scissors, pencils, pens, highlighters and extra paper so they will not have to stop in the middle of an assignment and search for an item.
Reasonable Expectations
It is generally agreed that the younger the child, the less time the child should be expected to devote to homework. A general rule of thumb that I have been given is children do 10 minutes of homework for each grade level. So, first graders should be expected to do about 10 minutes of homework, second graders 20 minutes, third graders 30 minutes, and so on. If your child is spending more than 10 minutes per grade level on work at night, then you may want to talk with your child’s teacher.
Merited praise
Nothing builds self-esteem like praise from parents, but it can also become an over-used and given in general terms, which ultimately can be damaging. More can be read in the book, “Nurture Shock” by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman. Researchers have found that praise needs to be specific and sincere. Instead of dishing out the general, “Good job,” rephrase your praise by giving specific praise, “I can see you certainly took your time today making sure your punctuation was correct.” Give them something specific, consider a talent or skill they have.
Reducing the homework hassle is possible with thoughtful, intentional action. Start thinking about your plan, sit down with your child and allow them to be part of that plan – ask their opinion as to when they would like to do their homework. By allowing them to be part of the solution you will likely get more compliance and less resistence – and isn’t that the biggest goal of all?
What tips do you have that have been helpful in your home?
