Welcome to Day 18 of 31 Days of Mom Mojo – Tackling Time Management.
Women need real moments of solitude and self-reflection to balance out how much of ourselves we give away. Barbara de Angelis
With the advent of email, instant messaging, cell phones, blackberries, etc., we’ve become accustomed to always being available to anyone and everyone at all times. In many ways this is great, but when you want to spend time with your family, or spend time relaxing by yourself, being hooked up, tuned in and turned on can be a liability.
It is critical to your well-being, as well as your family to find time to be quiet, to hear less noise, and to enjoy your own company. The constant input of stimulation keeps us on a road of high sensory input and it is not the best for creating an environment which is calm and peaceful in our home.
No zone
When it’s time to unwind with the kids, take the time to disconnect so your kids really do have you all to themselves. Turn off the cell phone, shut down the computer and ‘off’ the TV. I am guilty of “thinking” I am giving my kids my full attention, yet glancing over at the computer while being half-way into the activity or conversation. It seems like I am always saying, “Just a minute….I’ll be right there” and so on. I am trying to get better with this, but it does take intentional focus.
Each day, turn the cell phone off, or at least silence it, and walk away from the computer for a couple hours. When you carve out specific time to disconnect from the noise around you, take advantage of some of that time and spend it with your kids playing at the park, baking cookies, reading a book together, or just having time sitting around the table and chatting about their day. If you are spending time with your child(ren) they need you to pay attention to them – exclusively, not to your cell phone, computer or TV. The whole idea is togetherness without undue interruptions.
Time for you
It’s also critical to disconnect for your own sake once in a while. As a busy mom, you need to take time for yourself, too. What do you miss doing? Do you remember what it feels like to sit in peace; the quiet stillness surrounding you? I admit, I do not get it as often as I would like or need it. I find myself getting a little more impatient, uptight and anxious when I am overloaded with all the excess. Fortunately, we do have the ability to control some of the needless input.
Turn of the phone’s ringer, and let the email sit. Put your cell phone down and take some time for yourself, quietly and peacefully. You must have time to rejuvenate yourself and you can’t do it if you are constantly answering calls, emails and text messages. Everyone will wait for a few minutes or an hour.
Don’t think you have to have large chunks of time for it to count. Time bits as little as 2-3 minutes can create the solitude your body craves. When you are waiting somewhere in the car, turn off the radio and engine and close your eyes. Moments of solitude can be caught in numerous small bits of time all throughout the day.
Your place
Shortly after my husband and I were married he thoughtfully created a little spot in our bedroom that was “my spot”. A nice big cozy chair sits with an ottoman, a lamp and small table. This is where I can come and be alone or sit with my thoughts. It gives my brain a chance to decompress and my body a place to relax. The best part about this spot is that I can close the door. That is key for finding a place in your home that will work as your little escape.
I often find myself going for a walk or run outside and not choosing to listen to my iPod. Crazy, huh? But the quiet that I can experience while being outside is really energizing
The point of solitude isn’t just to be alone for a few moments; it is to be alone without noise from the radio, iPod, cell phone, or kids in the room. Solitude means not just pulling ourselves away from people for moments during the day (or week). It also means intentionally finding moments of peace and quiet.
Solitude is not something you must hope for in the future. Rather, it is a deepening of the present, and unless you look for it in the present you will never find it. Thomas Merton
In this time of advanced technology, it’s easy to get caught up in the never-ending flow of communication. To be connected in every way can be an advantage in some ways, but it can take a serious bite out of the time you need to spend concentrating solely on your family or more importantly yourself. I know I am not filling my quota of time for solitude, so this is certainly one area I will be focusing as I move forward.
The moments you take with your kids now, while they are young, will always be remembered and appreciated. The moments you take for yourself are no less valuable, giving you a chance to catch your breath.
How can you create a moment of solitude today?
