Chapter Six – Forging Friendships


Umbrella with dark clouds 

Everyone likes to say, “It takes a village,” when it comes to raising kids – well, I think when it comes to motherhood in general it takes a village.  Motherhood can get very lonely when you are in the midst of toddlers, diapers and endless nap schedules that can keep you trapped inside and alone for hours on end.

I hear from new mothers all the time about the change motherhood brings and the depression it can also carry with it.  Our life changes and it can be overwhelming, suffocating and endless.  But there is one thing that can help in the midst – friends!

“Friendships are an important part of mothering.  We desperately need each other.  However, friendships are not always perfect.”

It is true, every mom needs to have a ‘village’ of other mothers surrounding her and supporting her.  You can find great support in many areas – church, MOPS, neighborhoods, the library, parks and other children’s activities, so what can keep some moms from seeking out the support from others?  Fear.

I do feel that fear can play a role in our ability to reach out to others; fear of being judged, fear of failure, fear of rejection and fear of not fitting in.  I pray that you can jump out of the fear that could be holding you down – and begin to create wonderful friendships in the season of motherhood.

There are many seasons of motherhood and you will likely have many seasonal friendships too, but you could also get really lucky and connect with someone for a longer ‘life’ friendship.  Those are to be truly cherished.  I loved reading about Jill’s story with different friendships and the need those filled.  Didn’t it make you smile?

I honestly struggle with ‘motherhood’ friendships.  I would consider myself to be an introvert, which is exactly why having a blog and writing is perfect for me.  Putting myself out there for others in person can be daunting, exhausting and create a sense of apprehension for me.  {WOW, I can’t believe I shared that with you all!!}  

Currently I am in a bible study group with 8 other gals who I love dearly.  I work from home, which does not allow me the ‘conveience’ of being in an office to create friendships in that environment and my kids aren’t in activities where I have to stay while they are doing them, but soon I will enter into that season again with my 4 year old.

I have to try really hard to create space for creating and nurturing relationships – and honestly I stink at it.  One of my goals for 2014 is to intentionally create time to meet with those in my bible study group – OUTSIDE of our normal meeting time.  It is hard for me, as I have limited time and struggle with justifying paying a babysitter so I can enjoy some time away with a friend when my husband is out of town.

We all have our areas of weakness – it is knowing and admitting it and then putting ideas into action that can make a difference for us and perhaps another mom, who may very well feel just like you.

What part of motherhood friendships do you struggle with?

How can you be a good friend to those friends you already have in your circle?  

How can you make it a point to venture into new friendships?  Are you a “Here I am” or “There You Are” person?

Did you download the discussion questions yet for this week?  You can do that here.

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