As I was reading this morning during my “setting my attitude” time (or as some of you may call it your devotion or quiet time) I ran across this line in the book, “Ordinary Mom, Extraordinary God” by Mary E. DeMuth. She writes: “As women and mothers, our lives boil over. Sometimes we pour the boiling water back into our pressure cooker and hope for no explosions; other times we spew our frustrations on our unsuspecting children.”
OUCH! That line hit me in my heart. How often do I try to set the stage for my day so that I can be a happy mom, not a grouchy mom. And how often do my good intentions seem to disintegrate into frustration, overwhelm and I end up spewing on whoever is closest, usually my kids. This is such a common area of struggle for mom’s, keeping the balance – being able to turn the burner down to simmer when things start boiling. How does that look for you? What things do you do to keep your pot from boiling over?
Often it takes a reminder like this to help me remember that I need to spend time organizing my day in a way that I can avoid those pits that tend to drag me down and frustrate me – making my “pot boil”. The past few weeks I am have been unable to fulfill my usual running workout because I fell down the stairs and injured my tailbone, thank goodness it is on the mend and today I ran for the first time in nearly 4 weeks. As I look back over the past 4 weeks I can see how this inability to take care of one of my essential needs has impacted my family. It is like that saying, “You never know how much you enjoy something until it is gone.” I have been crabbier, easy to frustrate and much less patient with everyone. I also realize when you are in pain you act differently than you normally would. It is easy to use that as an excuse, which really if your honest, there is no excuse for having the right the spew forth “stuff” to your kids or anyone else. I have realized one of my self-care needs to help keep me balanced is physical activity. Do you have an essential need?
Many of you know I am very passionate about the ScreamFree Parenting principles and use them when coaching mom’s. So, some may think that since I teach this and encourage others with these principles that I have it all together and my house is lovely, with harp music playing and no yelling ever……WRONG! I have to admit at times, I still scream and have “spewed forth” ugly frustration – but wait you say YOU teach about NOT screaming at your kids. Well, here is a little secret, I struggle with this issue just like all other mom’s. I am not perfect, never have promoted myself as such; but what I am is aware that this is an issue for myself and taking care of myself is a key element to being ScreamFree with my kids. I can say I am a work in progress and am looking for ways to be the best parent I can be and continue to grow. It is at times like these when I run across a line or phrase that hits me in the gut that I am reminded where I am and where I have come from.
You are a work in progress too, and sometimes isn’t that a great reminder? You don’t have to be perfect and you have every opportunity to improve and grow with whatever challenge you may be facing. I encourage you to figure out your essential need and find a way to fit that into your daily schedule. You may be surprised how it may help keep your pot from boiling over.
