Just One…..

15
Nov
2012


In honor of November being National Adoption Month, I thought it was time to share with you our journey to adoption.   This is a rather long story, so I will break it down into 3 posts, today, tomorrow and Saturday.

Everyone has their own adoption story, journey and path – that is how an Amazing God works and leads us – even to things we could never imagine for ourselves.  That is our journey – to a place I would never in a million years have imagined.

Redemption

My story is one of incredible redemption – when I truly look at where I have been and where God has led me now, I am almost brought to tears.  You see, I made a mess of my life years ago, going through a divorce when my kids were 3 and 7.  I was not a follower of Jesus, but my heart was aching for something more. I made a number of huge mistakes during this time, yet He took me in, with all the mess and disgusting trail I left behind.  During my years as a single mom, I came to know the Lord and made huge strides in my walk with Him – forever changed.

I met and married my husband in August 2007 {that is a whole different story in itself – being a single Christian mom looking for a Godly man – whew – but God is good!}

At that time we felt our season of parenting was to blend our families and then spend our years after our kids left home to share time together, that ‘dating’ time most have in traditional marriages ‘before’ they have kids.  We kinds missed all that.

I was really looking forward to that time.  We had three children between us and we felt our house was full. We felt this so clearly that before our wedding my husband had a vasectomy.  We didn’t even know how hard blending a family is, no one ever tells you that and we are led to believe it is just like the Brady Bunch episodes.  All fun and games – NOT!  yet, we survived.

Those Mothering Feelings

About a year after we were married I started having feelings of wanting to be a mom again.  Yes, I was still a mom, but I wanted to be a mom again to a small child/baby.  It really hung heavy on my heart and Don and I even talked about the possibility of a reversal, but in the end we just felt that was not what we were suppose to do.  I was very disappointed that it appeared we would not be having more children.

Several months later I was looking at the newspaper on Saturday and ran across the “Saturdays child”, where they show a child in need of adoption.  Something hit me when I saw that picture and read his story.  It kept entering my mind…..I kept thinking about it, so I began to pray about what God was trying to show me.  Never in my life had I thought or considered adoption before.

Just One

I remember feeling guilty many times that I had no desire to be a missionary, going abroad to further God’s kingdom – I am not an evangelist – yet God spoke to my heart, saying that I didn’t need to save hundreds….just one.  I wasn’t quite sure what that meant, but it stuck in my mind.

After a few months of praying and still having this thought of adoption on my mind I knew I had to mention it to my husband.  I was scared because I figured I would be disappointed, my idea or leading was certainly not within “our plan.”  I mean, we were looking forward to our years doing our own thing.  It was not going to be long before our 9 year old was off to college.

We sat down for lunch one day and I began sharing with him what I had been feeling, then he told me about a dream he had recently while at work about a month earlier about adopting a child.  I was shocked and so was he.  He wasn’t sure what it meant and we decided we would just pray about it.  He was overwhelmed to say the least.

So we sat on it.  We talked about adoption versus foster to adopt, the how none of it made sense and how it was illogical, but we  prayed and waited, not sure what to do.  He spoke to an uncle who had done foster care before and he began to get very hesitant to the idea…..

I am more of a spontaneous person, my husband is a planner – one who thinks about every angle of things, so I was getting inpatient.  This is where I like to often take control instead of wait on God’s timing – it is so hard for me!

We decided after about  6 months to mention it to our family while on vacation.  Our oldest,  who was 16 at the time was not in favor of it and downright adamant against it.  One of our other kids was very excited and the other was more cautious.  So we  decided to continue to pray and wait.  We knew forcing this for our family would not be a good outcome.

We waited…  during my time as a parent coach I suddenly came into contact with parents of adopted children.  I had never had known a family that had adopted, but here I was working with these families and learning from their experiences. Some were foster to adopt and some were open adoptions.  It was clear that God had something going on here for us.

In my job as a parent and family coach, I kept getting clients who had adopted kids, I mean not just one or two but 5 or 6!

After more prayer, exploring and discussion we knew we were not suppose to adopt foreign, we were meant to reach out to a child in our area.  I kept getting this strong feeling of being disobedient to God and what His plan was for my life – because we were not moving forward. Yet, I knew I could not go above my husband and orchestrate this to happen, my husband  had to be the one who agreed and led our family into this journey.

Being Obedient

We struggled with our one child’s  adamant refusal to agree or accept this idea of adding to our family.  It was so hard. Finally I had two different mentors we respected greatly tell us that our children  do not get to make decisions like this for our family.  If we knew this was what we were supposed to do, then we needed to move ahead.

After months of feeling so convicted that we were not being obedient and struggling with those feelings, I got the advice of very smart Godly woman who told me to tell my husband that I was feeling and once he was made aware of my feelings then I would be kinda off the hook – it would then be between my husband and God – he would have to answer to why we didn’t pursue this leading.

I felt relief after I conversation, I shared from my heart.  There was no pressure, just raw emotion – explaining what I’d been hearing from The Lord and how I had been feeling.

Interestingly enough, 30 minutes later he said we should call the agency and begin the process.    {To Be Continued…..}

Come back tomorrow to see what happens next!

Photo Credit

Last Day for Celebrating & Savoring a Simple Christmas for $.99

 

New Beginnings, Second Chances and Change

28
Mar
2011


This post was originally shared on Simple Marriage awhile back.   I like to give you insight into my crazy, imperfect world and this post comes from my heart.  I hope it touches something in you today to help you be a little more intentional on your journey of motherhood.  Enjoy!

Change always comes bearing gifts.  ~ Price Pritchett

My life has been in ‘change’ mode for the past two months – change that has been anticipated, prayed for and welcomed with big smiles – but change none the less.

Change is hard.

Change is sometimes exhausting.

Change allows you the chance to begin again.

When my husband and I married 3 ½ years ago, we knew we were not going to have more children  – it was clear.  I came into the marriage with two of my own and he had one, so a nice blended family – that was our plan.

Funny how “our plan” always seem to change.

Not long after we married it was laid on my heart to adopt.  I had NEVER had this notion, desire or thought before.  It caught me off-guard, I mean……my husband and I had great plans to parent our children and then have years of child-free bliss, traveling and focusing on ourselves.

How perfect is that?

One day during lunch, I decided to share with him what had been on my heart.  As funny as it sounds, my husband was also given the adoption tug at the same time I was, although we were thousands of miles apart.  After several months of struggling and resisting, we opened up a new chapter of our lives.

We have decided to go the route of “foster to adopt” rather than adopting foreign and waiting for an infant.  There are so many children just waiting and needing homes locally and our desire was to fulfill what God had put together for our lives, not box Him in with all our requirements or desires.  So we have traveled this journey, allowing God to decide who would come into our home and whom we could bless.

The interesting thing is, we have been the ones who have been blessed beyond belief or imagination.  Changing me…… changing my husband……. changing our family.

Our first placement was last summer, we got a call to take a newborn and he came into our home.  He was here only 3 weeks and circumstances beyond our control took him closer to where his mother lived, so he left, taking a piece of our hearts with him.  I didn’t think I could ever say goodbye, but we did and are changed for the better – as a family, a couple and individuals.

So we waited again……wondering when the call would come.  Anxious, excited and nervous to start this chapter of our lives together, we just waited.  It was just like anticipating the delivery date, except you really have no idea who is coming.

The call came……they needed a family with older children to take placement of a 12 month old little boy.  I could hardly believe it!

We finished construction in the nick of time to add a fifth bedroom in order to accommodate one more to our family.  In the storyline of this entire journey, everything has just been in the nick of time – funny how that works!

My role as a mom has changed,  less sleep, more hugging, more kissing boo boos, yes…… change is good.  Change is needed.  Change brings reflection and new perspective.

This little guy we call Foster “J” (that is his new rapper name, given by our 14 year old son)  has been with our family nearly 2 months and as far as we are concerned he is here to stay ‘forever.’  That may not be God’s plan, but as a mother I have to open my heart to that level and give this little boy all that I have.  Even if he does not stay, I know that he needs all that I can give him.

This is how I am being blessed by him.

 

I have had to learn to slow down and take the time needed to be more than just the laundry person, house keeper and short order cook.  My role as a mother is so much more in the eyes of this little guy.  It has brought me back to understanding my role and what even my older kids need from me.

You see I had gotten caught up in the routine, the busy day-to-day life that keeps everyone going in different directions and I missed some of the good stuff.

Laughing till your gut hurts as Foster “J” smears spaghetti all over his face at dinner.

 

Watching Foster “J” take his first steps.

Having Foster “J” call me “mama”.

Watching him laugh uncontrollably as my son chases him around the coffee table.

I have another opportunity to let it sink in……

There is nothing that could have brought our family together like this little guy has done.  Being a blended family brings it’s own challenges, but this little guy has united us like nothing else could.

You see, he is not a “hers” or a “his”, Foster “J” is an “ours”.  He is connecting us together in a way none of us ever could have on our own.

Change is good and in our case, He did come bearing gifts – even more than we have even begun to imagine.

 

No, that photo is not Foster “J” – we cannot share his precious face publicly  🙂

Photo Credit

Coming Out of the Fog – A Journey

16
Jul
2010


I am empty, tired and feeling drained.  Yet, I know that I need to pick myself up by the bootstraps and move forward – but how?

Normally my posts are about parenting tips, advice, strategies or ways to make being a mom a little easier.  Well, if you are looking for that today, you can stop reading.  Today’s post is more about me, my life and how to be real with my readers.  I have wondered how much of myself to share with you all and I keep feeling that I am to be authentic and real, this is who I am  – this is about real life and the journey – my experience  I can share.  I am not perfect, honestly – far from it for sure!  But what I am is honest, true to myself and wanting to make an impact.  So if you are looking for ‘real’, then keep reading. [Read more…]

Multiple Blessings – ScreamFree Wednesday

30
Jun
2010


“In the name of God, stop a moment. Cease your work, look around.” -Leo Tolstoy

 

Jenny’s Take: I know that we are all busy beyond measure in these modern times. If it’s not the office demanding your attention, it’s the laundry, or an aging parent, a needy friend, an empty refrigerator. But guess what – all of that will still be there if you don’t attend to it right away. So, if you do nothing else today, do this-  Stop all the activity, just for a moment, and be still. [Read more…]