5 Lessons I Learned From Having a House Husband


Yes, it’s true….The Confident Mom has had a house husband helping run the show in her home!  Before you make any judgements, let me share with you, why it happened, how it went and what I learned through the process.  It might just surprise you.

For the past 25 days our family has tried an experiment of sorts.  My husband has a job where he travels out of town 3 1/2 days per week.  But for the month of April, he took extended vacation and was home – a lot!

Since my business needed some extra attention, we decided that we would switch our responsibilities a bit to relieve me of my normal household duties so I could focus on blogging, my 2014 summer calendar release {soon,  I promise – did you read about my computer mishap??} coaching and my mentoring of Young Living leaders.

It was decided he would do all the laundry, general household routines, cooking and meal planning, and childcare between 9 am – 6 pm.  It was a big change.

So what have I learned from this experiment?  How things went, what I actually got accomplished and how I changed was not exactly what I was expecting.

1.  My Husband is Unique and Has His Ways {which are not always my ways}

I love my husband to death and he is honestly very capable at running a home, he was a single dad for 4 years before we married.  He is always willing to help around the house with my daily tasks, but I rarely take him up on it, except for grocery shopping.  I do let him do that as it is a real bonus for me.

But I will say, it was a real eye opener for me to let go of all the areas that I normally controlled and managed – from cleaning up, laundry, cooking and keeping the kiddos in line.  His ways are different – not wrong, just different.  It was a huge exercise in letting some things go, which for one who deals with anxiety, let’s just say I was reaching for my Valor a lot during the month to keep my calm!

2.  Laundry is not necessarily an Act of Love to Him

Out of all the tasks he lovingly took over for me, this would likely rate at the top of the list as one I had the most trouble with.  I tackle laundry a little bit each day – always – ALWAYS – completing a load from start to finish, folding it neatly in the basket and feeling success.  Not my husband.

I would find underwear left inside out, t-shirts (if we were lucky hung up, but often inside out) clothes left in the dryer getting wrinkled for at least a day, clothes just tossed into the clean basket, not folded.  I almost died.

Yes, did anyone get harmed by this change – no.  Was it hard for me to see this play out differently than what I did, oh yes!

3.  Kitchen Tidiness is Irrelevant

I keep a very tidy kitchen when I cook.  If I take ingredients out, I usually put them back away as I am making the recipe, or at the very least as soon as I am done with the cooking part.  Not my hubby.

It became apparent that I just needed to vacate the kitchen/family room area when cooking commenced.  Whether breakfast, lunch or dinner – it looked like a bomb went off.  I had to steer clear and often times just close my eyes.  Appreciating that he was capable and willing to do this task was more important than me trying to change how he does it.

4.  Losing Control means Growing

This was really a growing process for me, I had to lose this incredible urge to control all the aspects I normally could have, if it were me being the family manager.  Giving up control is a process and one I will always be in, but these types of opportunities allow me to stretch and grow outside my comfort zone, which just makes things easier each time I am forced to relinquish control.

5.  I Truly Do Miss My God-Given Role 

We began slowly transitioning back to our “regular” routine this week.  I am still working on balance with my role as mom, family manager, wife and business owner – but the reality is it will never just be fixed.  It is always a process of providing balance and checking priorities.

The honest truth is, I miss my regular routine of managing my home and being the care giver.  As much as I belly-ached about those things like – meal planning, laundry, cleaning and managing tasks – I missed it.  I really did.

So welcome me back to the role I was created for – the one who keeps my family in clean clothes, good food around the table and some type of organized routine.

{PS – my husband did say on about day two of this experiment that he had no idea how incredibly time consuming meal planning was and how frustrating it was.  By the time lunch was done and cleaned up he was having to figure out dinner! He did enjoy it a bit  more when I shared with him my secret weapon, Emeals!}

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