Having Grace to Change

We all want things to change – we want to change our kids, our spouses, our homes, our body – it can be endless.  There is something to be said for being ‘content’ for sure, but when you find the real desire to change behavior or a situation, you can only focus on yourself.  We can spin our wheels by thinking we can change other people; in reality we can only change us {with help from The Lord!}. However, desire to change is just not enough. Deciding what changes need to be made, setting goals, and taking action steps are all required in making real changes that last.  It takes time, prayer and an attitude of grace with ourselves to move forward and tackle frustrating situations and/or behavior. I’ve been really challenged lately with really wanting to change my attitude in my parenting.  This is a bit embarrassing to admit, as you all look to me for advice and encouragement, but to be honest, I’ve been failing big time parenting my youngest.  I run this risk of being honest, but it is the reality and if I can’t be honest and vulnerable with you all, what good am I for His kingdom? Parenting is hard – different seasons require different strengths, and different kids require different approaches. Most days I feel exasperated – but I have to keep in mind that the bible says I am to not exasperate my kids, it doesn’t say anything about the other way around!

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.  Ephesians 6:4 NIV

As I desire to change and create new patterns for myself, I thought there may be others who are looking for the same thing.  I want to share some steps to help create new futures, new outcomes that we can be proud of.  Change is a good thing, it’s just getting there that can be hard!

Choosing What It Is You Want in the First Place

You cannot successfully make lasting change without choosing first what it is that you want. Take time to just let whatever your heart’s desire is come to you. You may need to go and meditate or go to a quiet place and center, or you may simply need to take some time practicing being quiet.  I am focusing on allowing God to work through me to give me the words that explain what needs to happen for me. I have to remember I am not in control here, He is and allowing Him to work is how things work best. Learn how to spend quiet reflective time, keep a journal, and take walks. Can I just say that my walks on the beach BY MYSELF have been therapeutic.  I’ve only been able to go twice by myself while out here getting things prepared at our cottage, but I know there will be many more opportunities to walk the beach in the years to come! By allowing quiet to fill your space, you will open the portals of communication between yourself, The Lord and things can begin to get clearer on what exactly needs to change. Once you have established what it is that you want, the rest will fall into place, with prayer and patience!

Setting Goals

It is best not to set goals that are too big because the harder you set your sights, the harder you may fall. Set goals that are realistic so that you can easily achieve them. In this way, you can go on to set another goal that is a bit higher. For example, I want to really learn to stop multi-tasking while caring for my 3 1/2 year old, so instead of just letting that be the overall goal, I can break that down into a smaller bite size that will be measurable.  When I first see the signs of my little one misbehaving because I am not giving the attention needed to a situation, I stop immediately what I am doing and focus on him.  This is a “action” item that will make it easier to put into practice.  I can look at more smaller steps that will be measurable as well, thus keeping me moving forward.

Action Steps

It is essential to write down a clear path of action steps that you will take daily to achieve those goals. Just like the small action  item I listed above, you can add to the list of other items, perhaps another step for me would be to devote 15 minutes in my day, varied throughout the day to do a specific activity with my little guy.  When you run a business from home, it can be very easy to just ‘sneak’ in one more task for the business, instead of choosing a task that is more important – my mothering.  I have to choose to be intentional in these action steps, and when I do I see the benefit. No matter what you do, make sure you take at least one action step per day. It does not have to be a grand action step; it just has to be an action step.


The most important thing about changing your life for the better is to make it known what you are setting out to do. Once you put it out in the universe that you are setting a goal and are clearly intentional about achieving it, you now have others you need to be accountable to other than yourself.  So, I have you all as small accountability partners – but I have to find others who share my desire and will be praying for me and asking about my progress.  Knowing that you have someone to answer to is always a great way of following through. I hope with these tips, you can make changes that last and changes that will give you a better life, whatever that looks like for you!  Let’s hold each other accountable and pray for one another.  If you are looking to make some changes, please leave a comment and I will make it a point to pray for you as we journey this together! 125x125-calmcoolconfidentIf you would like to dive in a bit further and intentionally work on some parenting issues, I’ve got 5 spots open in the Becoming a Calm, Cool and Confident Mom Online Coaching Series that I am offering to the first 5 who want to some accountability with me –  take 50% off the program using code:  CHANGE at checkout.  This offer is only available when paying the one time payment.  {The next live coaching gym call is  next Wednesday – just in time!} I hope to join you in this journey to work on making positive changes together! Susan signature         This post may contain affiliate links – read more here

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