The Cure for Judgment = Grace



This quote literally struck me right between the eyes:

“Judging is the brick, and pride is the mortar holding the judging attitudes in place.”

As I read the chapter, I realized that even though I didn’t see myself as a prideful person, that in fact…… Pride is an issue for me.  I can easily come to conclusions without even considering anyone’s unique situation, somewhat like the story of Emily.  I can see myself being guilty of the same exact stance she took when seeing the mother sitting inside her car.

I have grown in this area as my years increase, meaning….I have learned to give grace more often when looking at others, but I still have a long way to go.  

What I struggle with most

It is hard for me to be authentic here, as I am sure I will take some of you by surprise, but I have to be genuine and tell it like it is.  I pray my offering of my own faults and weaknesses will somehow be used by God to help another mom along in her journey.  That is what I pray.   Because honestly, it is embarrassing and even a bit disgusting to have to share some of these areas with you all, and admit it.

I impose my “perfect” expectations on others – all the time.  Just like Jill suggests, I can mark all the boxes – my kids, my husband, my friends (not quite to the degree that I do close family) and sometimes even complete strangers.  I can pick someone apart without even consciously realizing it – that is the shameful part.

“Judging is ugly.  It demands.  It criticizes.  It divides.  It destroys. It blinds us to our own faults.  Judging imposes our opinions on other people.  It leaves little room for others to be different from us because it sees those differences as wrong.” 

Why do we – or more importantly – why do I,  jump to judgment instead of giving one grace.   As I do a self-examination of myself and my normal mode of operation, I honestly do not feel I come from a natural place of offering grace to those around me.  I judge and inflict a sense of perfection.  I am always wanting to help solve a problem, rather than let someone else come to a conclusion on their own, or even maybe not solving the problem all together, just allowing it to be.

It is all about Grace

I have ben convicted in this week’s chapter.  Severely!  My heart was hurt a bit and then I was encouraged with this quote:

“Conviction is a good thing because it holds us accountable and motivates us to change.”

I love that, motivates us to change!  You know, God nudges us – all too well.  He knows our hearts and knows what we can handle – how to “give us His opinion” and how to continue to mold us into who He wants us to be.  I may be an older mom, but I am certainly not done growing, learning and changing.

My assignment is to offer Grace more -everyday.  Even to myself, which as a perfectionist is very hard to do.  I’ve struggled with emotional issues all my life that stem from many things, but have a lot to do with this ugly perfectionist portion of my nature.  Thank goodness God has led me along the way to a solution where I can continue to push forward past the depression that use to suffocate me.  He is so good and He is always near.

“In human relationships, grace is allowing others to be human, to make mistakes and not get criticized for every little thing they do wrong or differently form the way we do it.”

I will keep this quote handy as I go through my days, caring for my home and cleaning up yet one more BIG mess from someone who didn’t take my suggestion and listen to me  {You know, because I do know everything – yeah, right!}

Jill makes a statement about starting with ourselves on offering Grace, and I couldn’t agree more.  I am not sure what that looks like for you, but we all need to give ourselves Grace.  I need to work on my expectations with myself, the mom guilt I often carry for days and also watch my words – those are key areas for me.

What area is being brought to your attention to change?

Can you take a minute and pray this prayer with me:

God, we know that we’re not perfect, but we do want to allow you to perfect us and make us more like you.  Show us what antidotes need to be applied to eradicate the Perfection Infection from our lives.  Thank you for leading and guiding us.  Thank you for the Bible that shows us the way.  Help us to re-engage with our family with grace for their imperfections.  In Jesus Name.  Amen.

Begin reading Chapter 3 – see you next week!

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