When Normal Doesn’t Work Anymore

I’ve been procrastinating.

Yep, it’s true.  This may be a secret you didn’t really know about me, that I can often be found procrastinating tasks that I just do not want to do.  I’ve struggled with it all my life and at different times it rears it’s ugly head.  I’ve needed to make a decision and was having a hard time finding the time to do it.  I knew something wasn’t right, but didn’t want to say anything.

It isn’t something I readily admit, but this post is about being real today ladies.  It is about sharing some things that have been on my mind for a few weeks and I’ve tossed and turned trying to decide what to do. {Seriously, I’ve been losing sleep at night, awake for hours – which we all know helps nothing!}

And you see, that is the problem, I was trying to decide.  ME.  I was placing my struggle before the Lord, but my real problem was –  I wanted a fast solution and I didn’t want to wait long enough for Him to answer.  Ouch, that happens a lot to me, I either procrastinate or try to do it on my own.  I think I am giving the problem over, but I end up hanging on to 1/3 of it, not really giving it over.

I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and uninspired with blogging lately.  I can totally understand why and am not embarrassed at all – the past month and a half has been rough for our family.  My father-in-law was diagnosed with cancer and 9 days later passed away.

My husband traveled each week to Albuquerque to help his mom out and spend time with his dad, which left me in Seattle caring for the rest of our family.  This was what we knew he needed to do, but it was still hard, very hard.

In addition, our dog Riley who has had trouble with seizures began having them again and it causes a lot of stress in our home, sleepless nights and extra care for him.  It is tough.  It is sad.  It reminds me the reality that his life will likely be cut short because of this issue and the demands it puts on our family.  Silly, that a dog can be so close to our hearts, but he is.

We’ve had some disappointing news with one of our kids too, which shifted emotions all around – and was hard dealing with when one parent was 1000 miles away.

I was running a full-time business from home during this time.  I had decided earlier in May to do a 30 day blogging series, my 30 Days of Summer, so this required a lot of time writing, doing research and sharing.  In addition to that I was keeping up with the regular coaching clients I have, following up on Summer Calendar sales and the such, as well as working on future projects – always in the works.

I thought I was doing a good job – but you know what – I may have been doing a ‘good’ job with my business but I had nothing left for my husband or family.  I was literally exhausted and barely keeping my head above water.  I know that is not God’s desire for me.

I’ve been praying, asking God to show me an answer to my dilemma and I got it. We visited a new church today, out near our little beach cottage and today’s message really hit me.  I know it was God’s answer, showing me that my blog had started to become an idol, rather than Him being what I worshipped.  I began to see my identity linked to what I accomplished each day with regard to my business.  I am ashamed and embarrassed to admit it, but I am honest and real with you all, because often times I get emails from you telling me your faults and how I’ve helped you regain balance where you’ve fallen off too.  I am not perfect and the way to make change is to first admit when I am wrong and turn from that wrong.

We are all in this together, this journey of motherhood and keeping priorities in line.  I share with you how to look at where you spend your time and determine if your priorities are lining up and quite honestly, I was failing – failing miserably.  So, when I am looking at how my priorities line up for me, my business is below my husband, family, home and even me.  It is time to re-invest in the role God has in store for me – as a wife, mother and woman who can encourage others.

So, I am taking a sabbatical – a break or change from a normal routine  {} and it is starting today.  My wonderful husband has taken my whole family home with him and left me at the beach for 3 days!  Yes, three whole days to reflect, spend time alone and re-focus.  I know this is what I need to come back with a new vision for my role in our home.

I will be taking the rest of July off from blogging.  I will still be coaching and doing a few behind the scenes things, but I will not be doing any posting.  I will be re-releasing my Back to School Action Guide this month for 2013/2014 – so you will get a quick post about that when it releases (those who purchased last years version will get updated calendars – so watch for that!) I will also be releasing my Become a Frugali$ta in 30 Days – Money-Saving Secrets for the Frugal Family Manager ebook on Kindle, so if you’ve procrastinated grabbing that in PDF, do so now, as it will not be available on my site – only amazon.  In addition, my web-site is undergoing a facelift, so it will be fun to come back to a new look.

I am excited to step back from writing and spend some time listening to what God wants to speak into my heart. That is the real goal here, as I take a ‘sabbatical’.  I am attending the “She Speaks” conference this month and am anticipating learning a lot and coming back with a renewed excitement for writing, sharing my story and learning how to help more moms.  But I do know that I cannot help anyone else if I am not doing my best job as a mom and wife first and foremost and spending time with Him, who I want to direct me.

As I take this time away, I pray you will come back when I return and give me a shout out.  I know I will not be able to stay away from facebook the entire time, I love sharing my life with you all, but know I will be there a bit less.  I want to enjoy summer with my family and this little break over the fourth of July weekend gave me a peek at what I have been missing while spending so much time sitting at my desk.

Thanks for allowing me to be real and share with you when I get things a bit messed up – thank God for grace and forgiveness. Now, I am off for my first walk on the beach….alone…..with open ears to hear…..

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