Hello, it’s me. Remember, the mom who was worn out, exhausted, frustrated and allowed this blog to become an idol and time consumer for me.
The last time I posted was July 8th, when I shared with you about my frustration and embarrassment of not truly having my priorities in line. This has happened to me before, unfortunately. I knew it was time to take a break from blogging and spend some time allowing the Lord to help me re-define what the future was going to look like for me. Both personally as well as with my ministry here at The Confident Mom.
Looking back in my journal, I see my prayer for July 8th:
I spent more time seeking Him. I kept more notes and what I wanted, what I heard and what I felt in my heart. As I look back through my notes, I see things like:
Speak kindly and with life
Take God seriously
Know God’s purpose
Contentment is a heart attitude
How much of my day is wasted away? Lord, help me see where I can make changes and invest my time better – rather than waste it.
Empower me Lord to lose myself and live on purpose – a life of AGAPE love.
These notes are impactful. I can see how the Lord used the past few weeks to encourage me, impress upon me that my first and foremost ministry is at home and I have to work really hard at keeping my priorities in line with that. You see, I want to help everyone – which often means that I neglect those who are in my home. I can see now, it was one of the reasons I was feeling so exhausted and frustrated. There was no peace in my heart and everyone around me could see it but me. I wanted to keep pushing ahead.
It is challenging, this journey of motherhood, but I know God has equipped me with just what I need – yet I am often my worst enemy. When I do not put Him as a priority, things just begin to fall apart.
As I shared in my post before my sabbatical, I knew I was allowing other things to crowd in. Perhaps that is how you are feeling?
Here is what I learned about myself during this 3-week break from blogging and focusing more intently on hearing His whisper….
While I attended SheSpeaks, an incredible conference for Christian speakers and writers, it was confirmed to me that I was to learn to Simplify my life. The SheSpeaks team prayed for each of the 750 participants and placed their names near a word, phrase or name of God in the prayer room. Well, my name was placed right next to the word Simplify. Confirmation to me I was to slow down, focus and delete some things from my life. This will be a process, not an overnight fix.
I have never been a big journaling person, but during a workshop at SheSpeaks led by Hope Lyda, called, “Heart Notes,” I was challenged to answer some prompts she gave to “jumpstart” the journaling process. I was amazed that when she gave us a prompt to write on for a few minutes, I was consumed by the challenge and I wrote down some pretty profound heart thoughts. Wanna try it? Answer this question, which prompted one of my most emotional responses:
“The kind of season I am in right now is……”
She has several different books titled, “One Minute Prayers….” and I picked up one for my kindle. So many times I have a hard time putting my thoughts into words and I was touched with her workshop and so excited to discover her work!
I classify myself as an introvert – which may seem a bit odd to some, but I truly am. Sharing on paper is a lot different than sharing in person. I am often times nearly paralyzed with large crowds and fear can override any intelligent conversation I have with groups of people. So often I re-run conversations I have had and feel so stupid, it can be really self-defeating behavior indeed.
I do much better in smaller settings and feel more secure and safe. To be inserted into a group of 750 other women, whom I had never met was almost so frightening I wanted to change my mind, not step out in obedience and retreat into my nice comfortable home. But instead, I challenged myself, hung unto God and allowed Him to place me among those He wanted me to meet. It was scary, comedic at times but most of all – so fulfilling to step out and know I would survive. I met so many ladies who were incredible, and you know what? God blessed me with giving me two special ladies who I was able to create an even closer relationship with, just what my heart desired! Stepping out of our comfort zone is when God really can work, and I must remember to do this more often.
Perhaps a short break from something you have on your plate as part of your responsibility is a possibility for you? Do you have a commitment that may be prohibiting God from truly working in your life? Are you feeling tired and worn out? Ask the question of God and see if He can point out an area that may need to be “cut” for a short period of time for you to refocus as well. Time with Him is truly one of the best ways to re-organize your life. I learned from personal experience and I hope my sharing can help you tweak something if you feel a bit out of whack.
I found wonderful inspiration from a few sources the past few weeks that might help you:
I was in a Hello Mornings group and during this session we read through John, it was perfect for me. They have a new session starting in just a few weeks.
I also was reading, “The Quiet Place – Daily Devotional Readings,” by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Each morning I go to my YouVersion Bible app and read the scripture for the day, as well as the daily reading. I also am signed up for a Joyce Meyer Plan: Promises for your Everyday Life – which is a year long plan.
I’ve been reading through, “Wife After God,” and it has been such a wake up call for me and how I had let my marriage fall to the wayside. If you need encouragement in this area I highly recommend it.
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