We left off yesterday with the arrival of Jacob coming into our home just shortly before Christmas. What a Christmas gift he was!
We finished construction in the nick of time to add a fifth bedroom in order to accommodate one more to our family. In the storyline of this entire journey, everything has just been in the nick of time – funny how that works!
I was thrown back into parenting like I had not been in years! Having a little one around is a big change and a lot of things had to change for me.
I had to learn to slow down and take the time needed to be more than just the laundry person, house keeper and short order cook. My role as a mother is so much more in the eyes of this little guy. It brought me back to understanding my role and what even my older kids need from me. You see I had gotten caught up in the routine, the busy day-to-day life that keeps everyone going in different directions and I missed some of the good stuff. That was a big eye-opener for me – yes, even though I coach other moms and have been through different seasons of parenting, you forget sometimes! God has a great way of reminding us what is truly important.
Now the waiting game began. If you foster-to-adopt, you obviously are looking for an adoption for an ending, but the main goal the entire time the child is in care is to re-unite with the birth family. It is a roller coaster ride and not for the faint at heart (or someone who doesn’t have The Lord to rely on for strength).
Just as soon as you think things are headed to termination, something happens and you are delayed. The clock starts over. I would love to give every last detail about our experience, but I choose to keep some of the information private for the sake of Jacob as well as his other family.
After a long journey of 20 months, Jacob finally became a ‘permanent’ member of our family.
A few fun tid bits about our journey with Jacob, about a month before Jacob came into our home I had done a small couponing party in a local woman’s home nearby, someone who had found me on my website. She had a group of friends, we talked, shared couponing strategies and she even mentioned about a family in her church who was caring for a member of their family in foster care. I didn’t think anything more about it.
Well, on one of the visits before Jacob was permanently placed in our home (3 weeks after that party) his aunt dropped him off with a friend of hers, they were going to go out for a bit while we visited with Jacob in our home, a transition period before he came permanently. Well, this friend……she was one of the ladies at the couponing party. Seriously! I was completely overwhelmed – I do not believe in coincidences – I believe God orchestrates everything in His timing and was just astonished at His work.
We’ve also been very blessed with contact with his biological great aunt and uncle, cousins and his great grandparents. Not only did we gain a little boy into our family, we got some extended family too. His aunt & uncle who cared for him before our placement are Christians, which is such a huge blessing. To know they are praying for this little guy and we can share our faith together during this journey was extremely comforting.
Oh, and about that one child of ours who was not in favor of us adopting or fostering? Um, I would say this person loves this little guy the most! It is truly amazing how God works in peoples heart, even when they don’t want any work to be done. God is still performing miracles today!
There is nothing that could have brought our family together like this little guy has done. Being a blended family brings it’s own challenges, but this little guy has united us like nothing else could.
You see, he is not a “hers” or a “his”, Jacob is an “ours”. He is connecting us together in a way none of us ever could have on our own.
Change is good and in our case, He did come bearing gifts – even more than we have even begun to imagine.
Jacob has blessed our family beyond measure – bonded our “blended” family like nothing else could. I am thrilled that we will be dedicating him at church in a little over a week.
Had I not listened and obeyed, I don’t know where we would be, but I know I would feel regret and I am glad that God helped change my husband’s heart and help him make the decision rather than me manipulating his decision or forcing him into it.
I know that my gifts are being used to glorify God – I may not be out saving hundreds of people, bringing them into His kingdom, but I have the one that God had in mind when he laid that thought of adoption on my heart nearly 4 years ago.
Who knows what the future will bring for our family, maybe we will expand again – maybe not. But my husband has learned to never say “never”! Just when you think you will ‘never’ do anything, God begins working.